Well, it's finally here. Noah is having a hard time with Simon, and we are battling with some aggression issues. It got to the point that anytime Simon was around, Noah wanted to "play." Then, the play was always a bit too rough, and we found ourselves constantly reminding him to be gentle with Simon. Then, he would run and slide into Simon, then sit a little too close, and partly on top of him. Then, the hitting and kicking started with Bianca. It continued with us. He is clearly testing us, and it is a really tough test!
A few nights ago, he told me that when Bianca is here, he makes Simon sad. I said, "how do you do that?" He said, "I pinch his cheeks." I said, "how do you think that makes him feel?" His answer, "sad." "How does it make you feel?" "Well, my body thinks it's happy."
We have talked about his body before, as in, "listen to your body. If you are tired, you can go to sleep. Don't fight it." I think it's his way of conceptualizing two opposing thoughts/feelings at the same time. I can tell he feels sad because he hurt his brother, but also happy/satisfied for doing so. Of course, this is totally normal. But, of course, it is also totally unacceptable!
While time outs worked for us for a while, they seem to have lost their effectiveness. First, we did them in our room (because we can keep the door closed), but he has finally figured out that he can start going through our stuff while in there, rather than being in time out. So this is no longer a viable option. Second, he just doesn't seem to respond to them anymore.
So, I have turned to the approach of Positive Discipline (I'm reading the book by Jane Nelson) to see what they have to say. The points are very good ones, and they totally resonate. Parents need to be firm but kind (not strict, and not pushovers). Children's behavior is goal-driven, and their primary goal is to have a sense of belonging and significance. So, if they misbehave, it is because they are confused about their place/role in the family. Punishment is ineffective because it leads to thoughts of resentment, revenge, trying to get away with it next time, or feeling inadequate. This also resonates -- who ever remembers the "crime" for which they were punished as a child? Usually, only the punishment remains in our memory.
There are 4 different types of misbehavior -- undue attention, misguided power, revenge seeking, and feelings of inadequacy. Again, Noah's behavior clearly falls into these first two categories. The book suggests you can know which one it is by how you feel when they misbehave. If you feel annoyed, it is probably undue attention. If you feel like you want to control them or win, it is a power struggle.
The suggested ways of dealing with them are helpful. For example, for power struggles, it suggests saying, I can see we are in a power struggle. Let's take a break and see if we can try to come to a solution. Then, problem solving. You want x. I want y. How can we both come out winning? It gives children and adults control rather than pitting one against the other.
For both of the relevant categories, it suggests trying to win them over. This means first, stating. I've noticed you've been doing x. I imagine you are feeling y. I understand how you could feel that way. I felt that way when.... But, we need to do z. How do you think we can get there?
Okay, so this is total over-simplification, but it is helpful. Another hugely important approach is to fill up your child's love and positive power basket! It suggests spending alone time with the child (we've all heard that one before) and allowing lots of positive power opportunities. So, invite them to help you with tasks (even though you probably don't need any help).
I was a little at a loss of how to deal with Noah's behavior in the moment. Do we punish? Obviously, I don't want him to get away with it! But, I do believe that truly at the core of the action are his feelings of worry about being loved, about feeling replaced. So, it really does make sense to address those feelings. Then, the misbehavior in theory will resolve itself.
On Thursday and Friday this week, I had the day off, since my babysitter could not work those days. On Friday, I focused very definitely on positive power. I asked him to help me squeeze the glue to fix a toy, to tape up a package I needed to mail, to help protect Simon as he was trying to climb up and down the stairs (I let him stand right behind him instead of me, and asked him to make sure he didn't fall), I asked him to feed Simon. All of these tasks give him a sense of power, importance. I think helping with Simon is particularly important, because it converts him to a role of caregiver rather than aggressor. Obviously, doing this at moments when he is happy and there is no conflict is key!
I also talked with Noah about his feelings in the evenings when Simon was asleep. I told him I thought he was feeling like Simon was getting more attention that he wanted, which was why he was throwing things at Simon. I let him know other things he could do instead, like ask for attention, or ask for a hug. I told him he would get the attention if he tried this approach instead.
So Thursday was still a challenge, before I was really trying to do the positive power. But Friday was so much better! Even just a small change in my approach, and he was not antagonizing his brother! (Of course, one other major difference on Friday was that he was with me instead of his babysitter after preschool pick-up at 12.) I think we went the whole day with no aggression, until Nano got home. At that point, I went upstairs to do something, and Simon was screaming a lot (his way of calling attention to his discomfort), so Noah hit him. I think in this case, it was truly just a bad choice on how to deal with being annoyed by his brother, rather than trying to get attention. (Which I think needs another discipline approach entirely!) Overall, though, the approach seems to be helping. Ironically, I had read about and implemented this approach before, when things had gotten a bit rough, and it really helped. Yet, I had let things slip, as I guess we always do when we get wrapped up in the rest of life.
I really hope things get better! I'm pretty sure it is just a phase, but how we deal with it will be important to our future battles/challenges.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
What they are doing
It occurs to me that time with these young tots is flying, and before I know it, I won't remember what it was like when they were little! So, I'm going to do my best to get on here to write for my own benefit!
Simon is a sweet little character with lots of smiles, though his laughs are more discriminating. Lately, we have been playing a game in the tub where he stands up and places a toy in my mouth, then, I shoot it out in a surprising way. He finds this hilarious. He then plops back down into the tub and collects the toy, all to be repeated again, and again, and again. He hates to have his diaper put on, and hates to be still to sit on the toilet (yes, we are still catching about 99 percent of his poop in the pot), so we have to be armed with toys, books, or something else of interest if we want him to be still. When I get home in the afternoon, he comes crawling over to me, whining, as he has clearly missed me during the day. He often goes through bouts where he wants to get down, but as soon as we put him down, he wants to be picked up. He wants to explore, or find a toy, but wants to come right back to our arms.
Sometimes, after I get to "sleep in" a bit, he will smile a huge, radiant ray of sun across his cheeks when he sees me again in the morning. This is great sweetness! He likes songs and loves books, and loves to crawl up the stairs (still can't go down safely). However, he spends a lot of time watching what is going on around him, as I deal with Noah much of the time I am with him. Life as a second child sure is different!
When Nano gets home, Simon cries to be held by his papa! He shines that bright smile to be held and loved by his awesome dad!
When he nurses, he likes to have something in his hands. Sometimes it's a blanket, sometimes it's his own hands, and sometimes it's mine. Noah used to stroke my hair, but it is now too short for a nursling to reach. He is not a big nurser, and often will not sit still long enough to nurse when I get home (despite really needing the comfort and caloric re-charge). On week days, he oftentimes just nurses twice the whole day.
We had the 12 month visit, and he has dropped to 25th percentile for weight (40th for height). The doctor was mildly concerned, since he has dropped in percentile the last 3 visits, and was born at 90th percentile. I know my working more has a lot to do with it, as he is nursing less. She suggested introducing dairy. We tried for a few days, and then stopped, since he was wakeful and hard to settle in the night. We'll give it another try soon.
Meanwhile, Noah is amazing. He can count to forty, he can write his name, and he can sound out a few words. He likes learning, and I am always emphasizing to him that we learn by asking questions, and even adults are always learning. He also has a keen sense of his own emotions. Around Halloween, he was afraid of one of the houses nearby, as it was strewn with gravestones and skeletons. He shielded his eyes when walking by for the first few times, and then, he said, "maybe if I look at it a lot, I will think it is funny." Then, he wanted to try looking at it. After a couple of times, he was ready to look at it in detail. Then, he was fine, and thought it was fun. He tells me he loves me often, as well as his other family members. He still loves his school, and has started saying that he has friends there, "I have three friends: Jack, Liam, and Kenny."
The other day, Noah took a pair of sewing scissors to Nano's headphones, unbeknownst to us. One morning, Nano discovered the headphones clipped, rendered inoperable. He asked me what had happened, and I said I thought it was Noah. I suggested that he handle it by asking Noah, "Do you know anything about this?" Nano brought it up with Noah in that way, who responded, "Um, maybe someone cut it or something? I think maybe it was Simon." Then, he brought him over to Simon's jumper toy, and said, "Look!" There was another thing destroyed -- the strap holding up the seat was 1/4 of the way snipped. Nano didn't say anything else.
Later, I approached Noah, and said, "Noah, I think you cut Papa's headphones, and Simon's toy. It's not okay to cut things. Scissors are for cutting paper. If you want to experiment, and practice cutting other things, you have to tell me, and I can help you find something. It's not okay to play with scissors. I'm going to have to keep them far away from you until I can trust you again. I'm going to keep them up here in the cabinet. Do you think that's a good place?" (He has been known to try to reach in the tall cabinet with a chair.) "Um, maybe you should put it up on the refrigerator," he answered.
I took this approach thanks to the research suggesting that all children learn to lie, and that it is actually a normal part of development. Rather than trying to get them to admit it, they say to just say what you think happened, and what the consequence is. This advice was right on!
Today, Scarlett came to visit, and she wanted to play with the clown game, one in which you balance balls on the clown, and try not to make him topple over. Noah adamantly said, "no!" It became a match of wills, and started to escalate. I said to him, "Noah, Scarlett really wants to play with this game, but you don't want to. Can you tell me what the problem is? Why do you not want to play?" He said, "The clown always falls down!" So, I said, "Can you think of what we can do? Maybe you can play with these pieces, but leave the clown in the box?" They both agreed and went to play happily. Well, that is, until Noah's version of the game was to then knock over Scarlett's pieces, which made her very angry!
Parenting a 3 year old is constantly negotiating, putting out fires, trying to be creative, trying to keep a general semblance of normalcy, and constantly picking up what looks like the remains of a tornado running through the house. It is exhausting, though of course, also rewarding! It is really hard to be "on" all the time, and successfully deal with all the behavioral stuff. My most recent challenge is how to deal with Noah being too rough with Simon. He will slide into him, roll over onto him, and push him down. Most of the time, it is really just a simple issue of him not knowing his own strength, but not being willing to modify it. I'm going to have to think about how to deal with this one!
Simon is a sweet little character with lots of smiles, though his laughs are more discriminating. Lately, we have been playing a game in the tub where he stands up and places a toy in my mouth, then, I shoot it out in a surprising way. He finds this hilarious. He then plops back down into the tub and collects the toy, all to be repeated again, and again, and again. He hates to have his diaper put on, and hates to be still to sit on the toilet (yes, we are still catching about 99 percent of his poop in the pot), so we have to be armed with toys, books, or something else of interest if we want him to be still. When I get home in the afternoon, he comes crawling over to me, whining, as he has clearly missed me during the day. He often goes through bouts where he wants to get down, but as soon as we put him down, he wants to be picked up. He wants to explore, or find a toy, but wants to come right back to our arms.
Sometimes, after I get to "sleep in" a bit, he will smile a huge, radiant ray of sun across his cheeks when he sees me again in the morning. This is great sweetness! He likes songs and loves books, and loves to crawl up the stairs (still can't go down safely). However, he spends a lot of time watching what is going on around him, as I deal with Noah much of the time I am with him. Life as a second child sure is different!
When Nano gets home, Simon cries to be held by his papa! He shines that bright smile to be held and loved by his awesome dad!
When he nurses, he likes to have something in his hands. Sometimes it's a blanket, sometimes it's his own hands, and sometimes it's mine. Noah used to stroke my hair, but it is now too short for a nursling to reach. He is not a big nurser, and often will not sit still long enough to nurse when I get home (despite really needing the comfort and caloric re-charge). On week days, he oftentimes just nurses twice the whole day.
We had the 12 month visit, and he has dropped to 25th percentile for weight (40th for height). The doctor was mildly concerned, since he has dropped in percentile the last 3 visits, and was born at 90th percentile. I know my working more has a lot to do with it, as he is nursing less. She suggested introducing dairy. We tried for a few days, and then stopped, since he was wakeful and hard to settle in the night. We'll give it another try soon.
Meanwhile, Noah is amazing. He can count to forty, he can write his name, and he can sound out a few words. He likes learning, and I am always emphasizing to him that we learn by asking questions, and even adults are always learning. He also has a keen sense of his own emotions. Around Halloween, he was afraid of one of the houses nearby, as it was strewn with gravestones and skeletons. He shielded his eyes when walking by for the first few times, and then, he said, "maybe if I look at it a lot, I will think it is funny." Then, he wanted to try looking at it. After a couple of times, he was ready to look at it in detail. Then, he was fine, and thought it was fun. He tells me he loves me often, as well as his other family members. He still loves his school, and has started saying that he has friends there, "I have three friends: Jack, Liam, and Kenny."
The other day, Noah took a pair of sewing scissors to Nano's headphones, unbeknownst to us. One morning, Nano discovered the headphones clipped, rendered inoperable. He asked me what had happened, and I said I thought it was Noah. I suggested that he handle it by asking Noah, "Do you know anything about this?" Nano brought it up with Noah in that way, who responded, "Um, maybe someone cut it or something? I think maybe it was Simon." Then, he brought him over to Simon's jumper toy, and said, "Look!" There was another thing destroyed -- the strap holding up the seat was 1/4 of the way snipped. Nano didn't say anything else.
Later, I approached Noah, and said, "Noah, I think you cut Papa's headphones, and Simon's toy. It's not okay to cut things. Scissors are for cutting paper. If you want to experiment, and practice cutting other things, you have to tell me, and I can help you find something. It's not okay to play with scissors. I'm going to have to keep them far away from you until I can trust you again. I'm going to keep them up here in the cabinet. Do you think that's a good place?" (He has been known to try to reach in the tall cabinet with a chair.) "Um, maybe you should put it up on the refrigerator," he answered.
I took this approach thanks to the research suggesting that all children learn to lie, and that it is actually a normal part of development. Rather than trying to get them to admit it, they say to just say what you think happened, and what the consequence is. This advice was right on!
Today, Scarlett came to visit, and she wanted to play with the clown game, one in which you balance balls on the clown, and try not to make him topple over. Noah adamantly said, "no!" It became a match of wills, and started to escalate. I said to him, "Noah, Scarlett really wants to play with this game, but you don't want to. Can you tell me what the problem is? Why do you not want to play?" He said, "The clown always falls down!" So, I said, "Can you think of what we can do? Maybe you can play with these pieces, but leave the clown in the box?" They both agreed and went to play happily. Well, that is, until Noah's version of the game was to then knock over Scarlett's pieces, which made her very angry!
Parenting a 3 year old is constantly negotiating, putting out fires, trying to be creative, trying to keep a general semblance of normalcy, and constantly picking up what looks like the remains of a tornado running through the house. It is exhausting, though of course, also rewarding! It is really hard to be "on" all the time, and successfully deal with all the behavioral stuff. My most recent challenge is how to deal with Noah being too rough with Simon. He will slide into him, roll over onto him, and push him down. Most of the time, it is really just a simple issue of him not knowing his own strength, but not being willing to modify it. I'm going to have to think about how to deal with this one!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Simon's first word
Well, it's official, Simon has a first word. It's "uh-oh"!
He started repeating it first, after we would say it. It came out like "uh uh." Then, the true test: he used it in context! There I was, at Whole Foods, Noah in the cart, Simon in the carrier, looking at the items on a shelf. Something dropped to the floor, and out of Simon's mouth came, "uh uh" with a smile! Now, most of the time when something drops, he says "uh-oh."
Last night, he was sleeping next to me, and had just finished nursing. He popped up and started saying, "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh." I thought, "oh no, not a good time to practice talking, 3 am in in the morning..." Then, he let out a big belch, quieted down, and fell right back to sleep.
He's cruising around these days, though crawling is still his chosen form of transportation. He gets quite upset when he goes to climb the stairs and we close the gate before he can start up, complaining that he really wanted to practice! Today I was holding him next to a ball, telling him to kick, racing him across the floor as if he were playing soccer. He finally started to bear a bit of weight as I did this, and put one foot in front of the other to simulate walking. At least I know the reflexes are in there! One thing I do know is that once he decides it's time to walk, he will just stand up and do it as if he has done it forever! He has a great sense of balance and of where his body is.
He started repeating it first, after we would say it. It came out like "uh uh." Then, the true test: he used it in context! There I was, at Whole Foods, Noah in the cart, Simon in the carrier, looking at the items on a shelf. Something dropped to the floor, and out of Simon's mouth came, "uh uh" with a smile! Now, most of the time when something drops, he says "uh-oh."
Last night, he was sleeping next to me, and had just finished nursing. He popped up and started saying, "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh." I thought, "oh no, not a good time to practice talking, 3 am in in the morning..." Then, he let out a big belch, quieted down, and fell right back to sleep.
He's cruising around these days, though crawling is still his chosen form of transportation. He gets quite upset when he goes to climb the stairs and we close the gate before he can start up, complaining that he really wanted to practice! Today I was holding him next to a ball, telling him to kick, racing him across the floor as if he were playing soccer. He finally started to bear a bit of weight as I did this, and put one foot in front of the other to simulate walking. At least I know the reflexes are in there! One thing I do know is that once he decides it's time to walk, he will just stand up and do it as if he has done it forever! He has a great sense of balance and of where his body is.
Friday, September 16, 2011
First days of preschool!
Noah had his first day at preschool this week! The school was supposed to start on Monday, but due to the rains and flooding from Tropical Storm Lee, it was postponed until Wednesday. Apparently, they had to hang all of the carpets up and let them dry out over the whole weekend.
On Tuesday, I mentioned that he would be starting school the next day, he got mad, and said he didn't want to talk about it. So, I decided it was time for a new approach. I said, Noah, let's play "Noah goes to playschool!" We proceeded to act it out. I asked him if he wanted to be the teacher, or the boy. He wanted to start as the boy. I pretended I was Mrs. Griffen (his teacher's name), and greeted him warmly as he came in. I told him we could paint, and play with the toys. We then proceeded to have circle time, playground time, snack time, and at one point, painted for real. We took turns -- he played teacher once, but we started again about 5 times with him being the boy. Did this on Wednesday morning as well.
Then, it was time to really go! We took some pictures (will edit this to post some soon), and Nano took him off to Kid View! When they got there, Noah immediately said, "Pick me up, Papa." Nano picked him up, and they found his classroom and his teacher. There were a couple of kids there, and some playdough. Nano said, "Noah, let's make pizza, just like Caillou!" (Noah had just watched an episode of Caillou making pizza. ) Noah excitedly said, "Yeah, can you play with me, Papa?" Noah and Nano sat down, and Nano talked to the teacher, giving her all of the supplies, etc., as he played with Noah. Then, at just the right moment, he said, "Okay Noah, is this a good time to go?" Noah replied, "Yeah." Nano gave him a hug and a kiss, and away he went.
When I picked him up at noon, Noah seemed a little anxious. There were lots of parents, kids and teachers moving around at that critical hour. The first thing he said was, "We didn't go to the playground today." Mrs. Griffen said, "No, we didn't. But, we are going to go to the playground tomorrow." Then, we walked to the car with Bianca (she will be picking him up). We got in, and he said he had fun. I didn't get too much out of him, except that they had drawn a picture that day that they would be taking home later.
Day 2 went well too, though there were more people around and there was a bit more craziness at first. Noah looked for the play dough, but it wasn't out, and he was reluctant to play with anything else. The teacher figured this out, and offered to bring it out. Then, he settled in, and had another successful goodbye.
When I got home that day, we played school again. This time, we had to "hold onto the ring" to "go all the way down the hall, and up the stairs, to go to the playground." "You have to be very careful in the driveway and hold onto the ring." He was clearly listening intently! He later started showing his Thomas the Train book to the class, asking, "Does anyone know what this is?" and "Right! It's Hackaback (made up names)!" Later, when I was playing Mrs. Griffen, he came over and gave me a hug. He must be very comfortable there already! He also said Mrs. Griffen had a musical book, and proceeded to sing a song about a hammer.
Today was day 3, and I got to do drop off. Once again, it went extremely smoothly! He liked it so much, he asked to stay for lunch. Mrs. Griffen told me that he is doing very well in the class, that he is following along with everything. I answered that I am so proud of him. And I really am!! He has come so far from the 2 year old who thought he would die if he were to be separated from me! Granted, this place is much, much better with the transition for the new children, and it is a very loving environment. It is much better suited to his personality. But again, I am so proud of him, and am looking forward to watching him blossom in new ways with this new experience!
On Tuesday, I mentioned that he would be starting school the next day, he got mad, and said he didn't want to talk about it. So, I decided it was time for a new approach. I said, Noah, let's play "Noah goes to playschool!" We proceeded to act it out. I asked him if he wanted to be the teacher, or the boy. He wanted to start as the boy. I pretended I was Mrs. Griffen (his teacher's name), and greeted him warmly as he came in. I told him we could paint, and play with the toys. We then proceeded to have circle time, playground time, snack time, and at one point, painted for real. We took turns -- he played teacher once, but we started again about 5 times with him being the boy. Did this on Wednesday morning as well.
Then, it was time to really go! We took some pictures (will edit this to post some soon), and Nano took him off to Kid View! When they got there, Noah immediately said, "Pick me up, Papa." Nano picked him up, and they found his classroom and his teacher. There were a couple of kids there, and some playdough. Nano said, "Noah, let's make pizza, just like Caillou!" (Noah had just watched an episode of Caillou making pizza. ) Noah excitedly said, "Yeah, can you play with me, Papa?" Noah and Nano sat down, and Nano talked to the teacher, giving her all of the supplies, etc., as he played with Noah. Then, at just the right moment, he said, "Okay Noah, is this a good time to go?" Noah replied, "Yeah." Nano gave him a hug and a kiss, and away he went.
When I picked him up at noon, Noah seemed a little anxious. There were lots of parents, kids and teachers moving around at that critical hour. The first thing he said was, "We didn't go to the playground today." Mrs. Griffen said, "No, we didn't. But, we are going to go to the playground tomorrow." Then, we walked to the car with Bianca (she will be picking him up). We got in, and he said he had fun. I didn't get too much out of him, except that they had drawn a picture that day that they would be taking home later.
Day 2 went well too, though there were more people around and there was a bit more craziness at first. Noah looked for the play dough, but it wasn't out, and he was reluctant to play with anything else. The teacher figured this out, and offered to bring it out. Then, he settled in, and had another successful goodbye.
When I got home that day, we played school again. This time, we had to "hold onto the ring" to "go all the way down the hall, and up the stairs, to go to the playground." "You have to be very careful in the driveway and hold onto the ring." He was clearly listening intently! He later started showing his Thomas the Train book to the class, asking, "Does anyone know what this is?" and "Right! It's Hackaback (made up names)!" Later, when I was playing Mrs. Griffen, he came over and gave me a hug. He must be very comfortable there already! He also said Mrs. Griffen had a musical book, and proceeded to sing a song about a hammer.
Today was day 3, and I got to do drop off. Once again, it went extremely smoothly! He liked it so much, he asked to stay for lunch. Mrs. Griffen told me that he is doing very well in the class, that he is following along with everything. I answered that I am so proud of him. And I really am!! He has come so far from the 2 year old who thought he would die if he were to be separated from me! Granted, this place is much, much better with the transition for the new children, and it is a very loving environment. It is much better suited to his personality. But again, I am so proud of him, and am looking forward to watching him blossom in new ways with this new experience!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Milestones
It has been forever since I have posted! I have been thinking about a hundred blog posts, like 10 top reasons to do elimination communication, the entire SUMMER of 2011, getting a PhD, and starting a new job! But, there is just too much, so for now, I am going to try and get some of Simon's milestones recorded.
Simon became mobile on July 1st. I captured his first crawling steps in a short video. Soon after, we left for our trip on a CRUISE ship, where he didn't get down on the floor much. When we got back, around July 12th, Simon really got a chance to practice, and has become very proficient! He does mostly a crabwalk, with his left knee down, and his right foot up. He is still in no hurry to walk or even take steps when we hold him standing up, but he is now starting to push and pull up. The first time Noah saw Simon standing, his excitement was enormous. "Look, mama, he's standing!!" Noah had a huge smile on his face and was very proud of his little brother! "Hey buddy, you're standing!" It was so cute to see their bond.
Today, Simon and Noah got a bath together before bed. Simon started putting some toys in a little cup -- big development! :) It was very cute to see him putting things together. Today he was pushing up on a stool while sortof starting to take steps around it. Very soon, he will be stepping!
And, very soon he will be 1! I can't believe a year has gone by! Noah wants him to have an airplane cake. In a lot of ways, Noah does not remember life without Simon. But, at the same time, he always amazes me with his memory. Last weekend, Simon, Noah and I walked with the stroller to Starbucks. Noah said, "remember the other day, when we walked to the coffee shop with our friends?" Well, he was remembering an event where I pushed him on the same street in the same stroller with my friend Sharon and her family, over a year ago when they came to visit in June 2010! Really amazing that he remembers that.
Noah continues to say the most amazing things. He talks a lot, and is a bundle of energy. He's at the point of wanting to give up his nap, so is often quite cranky in the afternoons. This is, of course a challenge! Soon he will be starting school! Given all the rain we had with the tropical storm, their facilities were flooded, so they are delaying until Wednesday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but am starting to have a good feeling about it. He seems ready. He isn't showing as much anxiety about it. I think he's going to do great.
Simon became mobile on July 1st. I captured his first crawling steps in a short video. Soon after, we left for our trip on a CRUISE ship, where he didn't get down on the floor much. When we got back, around July 12th, Simon really got a chance to practice, and has become very proficient! He does mostly a crabwalk, with his left knee down, and his right foot up. He is still in no hurry to walk or even take steps when we hold him standing up, but he is now starting to push and pull up. The first time Noah saw Simon standing, his excitement was enormous. "Look, mama, he's standing!!" Noah had a huge smile on his face and was very proud of his little brother! "Hey buddy, you're standing!" It was so cute to see their bond.
Today, Simon and Noah got a bath together before bed. Simon started putting some toys in a little cup -- big development! :) It was very cute to see him putting things together. Today he was pushing up on a stool while sortof starting to take steps around it. Very soon, he will be stepping!
And, very soon he will be 1! I can't believe a year has gone by! Noah wants him to have an airplane cake. In a lot of ways, Noah does not remember life without Simon. But, at the same time, he always amazes me with his memory. Last weekend, Simon, Noah and I walked with the stroller to Starbucks. Noah said, "remember the other day, when we walked to the coffee shop with our friends?" Well, he was remembering an event where I pushed him on the same street in the same stroller with my friend Sharon and her family, over a year ago when they came to visit in June 2010! Really amazing that he remembers that.
Noah continues to say the most amazing things. He talks a lot, and is a bundle of energy. He's at the point of wanting to give up his nap, so is often quite cranky in the afternoons. This is, of course a challenge! Soon he will be starting school! Given all the rain we had with the tropical storm, their facilities were flooded, so they are delaying until Wednesday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but am starting to have a good feeling about it. He seems ready. He isn't showing as much anxiety about it. I think he's going to do great.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Conversations
Noah is quite the conversationalist. He has definitely reached the age of, "why?" Why are you always putting butter on your toast? Why did you do that? Recently, I was getting him to nap, when he said, "why does Papa always use the fan?" I said, "because his feet get hot." Of course, the reply, "Why do his feet get hot?" I answered, "because lots of blood is circulating in his body and it makes his feet feel hot." To this, I got silence. I guess he had to contemplate that one for a few minutes. Then, about three minutes later, "why does Papa have blood in his body?"
In the car, on the way to the beach from Santiago, we had an interesting conversation. Noah pointed to his belly, and said, "Mama, when is my baby going to come out?" His belly was a bit extended from lack of using the potty. I had recently been reading about some child development stuff, and how some kids get scared and think they might have a baby, and how they should learn in very simple terms how babies are made even around this age, so that they know it can't just happen out of the blue to a child. So, I thought I would take advantage of the opportunity to broach this topic.
I said, "Noah, you can't have babies. Only mommies can have babies."
"But I WANT to have a baby," replied Noah.
"You do?"
"Yes! Like Simon!"
Then I continued. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they can give each other special kisses. They have a special relationship. And sometimes, they can make a baby."
Without missing a beat, Noah responded, "And then they make a SPACE SHIP!!!"
I have no idea where this came from, but we laughed for a good ten minutes. Since it was so funny, he repeated it about twenty-five more times. We then laughed another ten minutes at his attempts to make us laugh.
In the car, on the way to the beach from Santiago, we had an interesting conversation. Noah pointed to his belly, and said, "Mama, when is my baby going to come out?" His belly was a bit extended from lack of using the potty. I had recently been reading about some child development stuff, and how some kids get scared and think they might have a baby, and how they should learn in very simple terms how babies are made even around this age, so that they know it can't just happen out of the blue to a child. So, I thought I would take advantage of the opportunity to broach this topic.
I said, "Noah, you can't have babies. Only mommies can have babies."
"But I WANT to have a baby," replied Noah.
"You do?"
"Yes! Like Simon!"
Then I continued. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they can give each other special kisses. They have a special relationship. And sometimes, they can make a baby."
Without missing a beat, Noah responded, "And then they make a SPACE SHIP!!!"
I have no idea where this came from, but we laughed for a good ten minutes. Since it was so funny, he repeated it about twenty-five more times. We then laughed another ten minutes at his attempts to make us laugh.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Trip to Chile with two kids!
This year we decided to venture to Chile for spring break! I spent weeks trying to figure out what would be the best way to travel. Stroller or no stroller? Car seat or no car seat? Potty seat for Noah? And what about a portable potty for Simon? What snacks would I bring? And what would I be eating, given my dairy and soy-free diet? And all this was just for the trip on the plane...!
So, finally, we decided to bring car seats for both of them, a potty seat for Noah, and a small tupperware for Simon. It worked perfectly! The trip to Chile went surprisingly well! First, we had a long drive to the airport. I loaded the car with Noah's toys, and amazingly, Simon didn't even cry during the 1.5 hour drive. We had talked up the trip so much that Noah was very excited! We arrived over 2 hours before the flight, and had some time to kill. We bought Noah a blueberry muffin, and he ate the top off of it. I got my shoes shined, and Noah loved watching. He was very outgoing with the shoe-shiner! Simon had a brief nap. Noah played "El Toro" with Nano, which consists of running into a white cloth like a bull. Simon watched and smiled. Noah played with his ladybug suitcase.
Finally, we got on the flight. We lucked out and got an extra seat for Simon! Nano just about killed me for insisting on using two carseats. Installing Noah's on the plane for the first time led to severe frustration and cursing under his breath. Noah was frustrated because on the flight to Dallas, he couldn't use his tray table, given the height of the seat (one of the shorter ones on the market). It was fabulous to be able to set Simon down and have him happily at my side some of the time, without having him on my lap the entire flight. I knew this is what I wanted for the long flight to Chile. As soon as the flight started to take off, Noah fell asleep. He didn't even get to watch the plane go up into the sky! After only an hour, he woke up, so we had to entertain him for another 2 hours. I had brought some special toys for the flight (coloring books, pens and crayons, plus some small matchbox size emergency vehicles), and he was pretty happy. He also watched part of a video on construction vehicles.
We had about 3 hours layover in Dallas on the way there, and spent it eating, walking, and playing. By this time, it was getting quite late, and Noah was getting into the euphoric, over-tired state. He and I rolled around on the floor with Simon, took pictures, and had fun while we waited for the flight. The counter started to announce that the flight was overbooked, and that they were taking volunteers to not get on the flight. Bummer, we thought, our seat for Simon is gone! We decided to just check his car seat so we wouldn't have to deal with it. This was Big Mistake Number 1! At 9:15 pm, we boarded the flight. We still had the middle seat free for Simon! But, his car seat was far away under the plane, and there was nothing we could do about it. I was the most upset about this grave error, since I was the one who would be holding him throughout the flight. While we were thrilled to have the three seats together, it was a bummer that Nano had the seat on the other side of the aisle, and I had to deal with the needs of both kids at one time! Overall, though, it went much better than expected. Noah slept in his car seat. There was little room for his legs, once we reclined the seat, but at least his head was not falling over.
We arrived in Santiago in the morning, and Noah was happy to watch Dora on the iPhone while we stood in line to pay the reciprocity fee for Simon and proceed through immigration. When we got to baggage claim, we could see Lala, Tata, Maida and Julian up in the galley waiting for us! Noah was happy to see them and waved.
The first thing Noah noticed about Chile was that it was very bright! Coming from the winter, the bright Chilean sun was a bit of a shock! He complained of being hot and the sun being too bright. He didn't want to get in the car until it had cooled down. We spent the trip to Lala's house talking about sights like the tunnel we had to go through, and the mountains. When we finally got to Lala and Tata's house, they opened the door and said, "come in!" Noah took one look, and said, "I want to go home now." I quickly said, "Let's go see the kitchen!" and thankfully, Lala had a huge watermelon on the counter (Noah loves watermelon) and a view of the swimming pool. These two things made Noah feel much better. We had some watermelon and snacks, and then tried to take a nap. It took a bit of convincing, but soon, all four of us were in deep slumber at our destination.
When we woke up, we had guests! The whole family had come over for swimming and then dinner at Lala's house. Noah had so much fun playing with his cousins. He was thrilled to see Nico (13) and Cata (11), who, apart from speaking English with him, had visited our house in the not too distant past, and Noah thought of them fondly. It took a little longer to get used to Jose (8), Maida (5), Julian (6) and Luciana (2). He ran around on his own with the cousins while we ate, though he kept coming back to check in with me. Thankfully, Simon was able to get down early that night.
At around 9:00 pm, Noah came to me and said he was tired. So, I took him back to our room, and he said, "I'm ready to go back home now. I want to go back to Jenkintown." I wasn't surprised that he felt out of his element. I explained that we had to get on an airplane to come to Chile, and that we would be there for a week. He cried. And cried. I told him, "I know, you really want to go home. It feels really far away here, and everything is different. You want to go home. But, Mama and Papa and Simon are here. We are here together. And, we get to play with all of your cousins and see Lala and Tata." Noah cried some more. Then, after about 10 minutes, he said, "Okay, I feel better now." We did a quick tubby, read a few books, and got to bed.
Wednesday, our first full day in Santiago, we hung out in the morning with Julian, and around lunch time, went to a country club that had a huge indoor swimming pool. All the kids (except Luciana) took off from school in the afternoon to hang out with us there. Despite missing his nap, Noah had tons of fun with all of his cousins. They played in the pool with him, as Nano and I alternated between swimming with him and holding Simon. Simon slept in the carrier. As expected, Noah passed out in the car on the way back. He only slept about 20 minutes before we got back to Lala and Tata's house. That evening, we got him to bed relatively early, in preparation for the next day.
Thursday, we spent the morning at Lala's house while Nano prepared for a presentation the next morning at the University of Chile. That afternoon, we headed out to Angeles' house, and hung out while waiting for the kids to come home at around 3pm.
Friday, Nano had his presentation, and I was expected to attend, so that I could meet with some colleagues of my professor there. We managed to get Noah down for a nap at 12.45 and walked out the door at 12.46 to get there for the 1:30 presentation. Angeles babysat Simon and Noah slept most of the time. When we walked back in the door at 3.30, I found Noah in the bathroom, trying to go to the potty by himself. Since his potty seat was in a different bathroom, he had a bit of an accident, but I totally give it to him for wanting to exert his independence! He would have been entirely successful, were it not for that small detail! That afternoon, we headed over to Andres' new house. I love the way Angeles' and Andres' houses are set up for kids -- both houses wind around a nice backyard, with doors from almost all of the rooms facing out there. It is perfect for young children to play outdoors while you keep an eye on them! Noah played with Julian and the neighborhood kids on a scooter, running around with a ball, and just having fun. I spent about 2 out of 3 hours trying to get Simon to sleep! At around 9.30, I gave up, and we decided to get him and Noah home to Lala's house. Noah and Simon both fell asleep in the car, and successfully transferred upstairs to sleep.
Saturday, we had a birthday party to go to in the afternoon. Simon napped, then Noah napped, then Simon napped, and then we made it to the party. We also had to pack our bags, since we were heading directly to the beach from the party. The party was at Nano's friend Topo's house. Their house was like heaven for a three year old! There was a bouncy castle, a swimming pool, a sandbox, a treehouse, a room full of toys including a drum set, light sabers, and balls, a pinata, sugar sodas, and lots of candy! They also had a full outdoor bar and grill, nice music, and all of Nano's friends from high school. In short, it was an absolute blast!
From there, we left to the beach. It is about a 1.5+ hour drive. We didn't arrive until about 9.45 pm. Both the kids fell asleep in the car and for the most part successfully transferred to sleep in the new location. We hung out in the next apartment over (got to love the monitor) for drinks with Andres, Carola and Lala and Tata (Julian and Luciana were still awake...until at least 11.30 pm!). We were pretty pooped so soon thereafter, headed for bed.
Sunday morning, I let Nano sleep in and took Noah to play outside on the playground and see the indoor swimming pool. We had a nice time playing, and by the time we got back, Andres and his family were starting to wake up. We planned on having lunch in Valparaiso, so everyone was getting ready for the 20+ minute ride. Reservations were for about 1.30 or so. Noah fell asleep 10 minutes before we got there. I stayed in the car with him for another 10, then carried him in. He continued sleeping on me, and then on the couch, for another hour or so. I had a delicious local white fish (reineta) dish with fries and salad. Nano had Congrio frito. When Noah woke up, we went down one of the famous elevators of Valparaiso, a small little car that climbs up and down the mountainside. Great fun for the little ones!
This was the end of Noah's decent behavior. By this point, he was so beside himself with tiredness and lack of nutritious food that he was cranky and fussy for pretty much the rest of the trip. He woke up from this nap very cranky, and wouldn't even talk to his cousins. He only wanted to be with me (and let me tell you, he was no joy to be around). He demanded things like iPhones and ice cream. He had tantrums when he did not get them. Everyone tried to placate him, and we ended up going to an ice cream restaurant later that afternoon where he basically ate what would have been lunch (after refusing the chicken nuggets and fries we had for him).
After that, we went to the house of a couple we know from the University of Maryland, who live in Vina del Mar. Again, gorgeous house with huge backyard with lots of windows facing it! They have three kids (1.5, 5 and 7), a trampoline, and a kitchen stocked with peanut butter! Noah was thrilled to eat his first peanut butter and jelly sandwich in days (although in all honesty, I had brought some with us and he was eating it, but still!). Diana also offered him markers and some other toys. I spent another 2 out of about 3 hours trying to get Simon to sleep here. We didn't get there until 6 pm, his bedtime in Chile was about 7.30, and his last nap was interrupted, so he was pretty much a disaster. Lots of crying...I didn't get much of a chance to catch up, but we did get to exchange a few words here and there! :)
Finally, we got back to the apartment, and once again, both kids were sleeping. Noah's dentist is going to kill me for missing so many teeth brushing times while there!
On Monday, Nano wanted to go to his favorite restaurant for his favorite lasagna, so we made an early reservation at 12.30. I had some fabulous sauteed shrimp, and Nano had is infamous Lasagna a la Putanesca. Noah shared some noodles with Julian, and devoured many of my shrimp. When we got back, he was exhausted, and napped from around 2-4, when we had to wake him up in order to head to the airport.
Suffice it to say, the return trip from Chile was pretty much a nightmare. Noah and Simon were both tired and sleep deprived. The ride to the airport from the beach was quite long, but Noah handled it pretty well, given he had just woken from a nap. At the airport, we ate with and then said goodbye to the cousins, who met us there, and Noah was pretty wild with excitement and tiredness. Simon was once again struggling to fall asleep among the waiters crashing dishes, children screaming, and other kitchen noises. There were two great things about the return flight from Santiago to Dallas: we got the bulkhead seat, which meant a bassinet (which Simon did NOT like) and more front leg room for Noah. We also got a seat for Simon and had the carseat with us this time, so I actually got rest!! Nano on the other hand, had no place to put his long legs, so he was pretty uncomfortable! Noah slept most of the time, but was very cranky upon waking. Then, in Dallas, we had a five, yes, FIVE, hour layover. Nano took Noah on train rides, we ate, we walked, I bought Noah an airplane toy, and then we all took the train together for our flight. Nano did not put Noah's car seat in for this flight, and he did not easily fall asleep without it. While he really needed a long nap, he only got about an hour. He was so cranky upon waking that we began to relive the first days after Simon's birth, with Noah saying he didn't want me to hold Simon, that he wanted me to hold him, etc. I ended up walking off the plane with Noah in one arm and Simon in the other. Nano schlepped all the stuff. The stroller was way at the end of the passageway, and I was pooped.
Then, to top it all off, we had only arrived in Newark. We had a whole 1.5 hour car ride ahead of us. We stopped to get a hot dog for Noah and Nano, and took off. Simon cried for about 45 minutes to an hour. Noah cried that he wanted to watch something, then cried that he had to go potty, then cried that he didn't want to go potty, then cried that I tried to get Simon to stop crying, then cried that I told him I didn't like him acting like that, then cried that his dad told him to stop crying, etc., etc., etc.
By the time we walked in the door at around 6pm, we had all lost our patience at least once leading to either yelling or crying. I just wanted to get both of them TO. SLEEP.! Well, it still took awhile. Several hours later, at about 8:15, they were finally asleep.
Wow, what a trip!! Overall, it was great! I was so happy to see Noah thrive with his cousins! Jose played, "give me five...up high...down low...too slow" with him, he ran in a little sprinkler with Luciana, Nico and Cata spoke to him in English, he flew a kite with Julian, he played in the sand with Luciana, he swam with all the cousins, and he had a great time. But, it was disheartening to see his behavior decline along with his napping/sleep schedule. Next time, we will have to be more careful to see that he gets sleep and food in his body!
If there is one thing that saved us with Simon while we were there, it was the White Noise application on the iPhone! It took a few days to figure it out, but I turned it on one night and Simon was finally able to fall to sleep once all the noise was drowned out. Overall, I think he became a better sleeper as a result of this trip, ironically. He can go down in more of a variety of circumstances, and really seems to enjoy/appreciate the darkness and quiet of his room now that we are home!
There were at least three areas of major regression for Noah: 1) eating, 2) using potty, and 3) screen time. When he got back, his babysitter, Tiffany, asked him, "What did you eat in Chile?" His answer: "Nothing. They don't have any food in Chile." He asked repeatedly for goldfish crackers, and I told him they didn't have them in Chile. He didn't want to try anything new, and didn't even seem to like their noodles. The one thing he ate with gusto in the restaurant was shrimp (surprisingly). He also ate and enjoyed an empanada, but he probably quickly forgot about that. And, his friends and family ate and/or offered lots and lots of sugar -- sodas, candy, ice cream, etc. It was hard to get anything healthy down his throat! As far as point 2, I won't go into detail, but lets just say that peeing on the potty went well, but that was about it. For point 3), I was amazed at how there were no limits or monitoring on quantity or contents of television cartoons and iPhone/iPad games. Noah got way more than his usual share of screen time, and we are currently trying to detox.
Pictures to come!
So, finally, we decided to bring car seats for both of them, a potty seat for Noah, and a small tupperware for Simon. It worked perfectly! The trip to Chile went surprisingly well! First, we had a long drive to the airport. I loaded the car with Noah's toys, and amazingly, Simon didn't even cry during the 1.5 hour drive. We had talked up the trip so much that Noah was very excited! We arrived over 2 hours before the flight, and had some time to kill. We bought Noah a blueberry muffin, and he ate the top off of it. I got my shoes shined, and Noah loved watching. He was very outgoing with the shoe-shiner! Simon had a brief nap. Noah played "El Toro" with Nano, which consists of running into a white cloth like a bull. Simon watched and smiled. Noah played with his ladybug suitcase.
Finally, we got on the flight. We lucked out and got an extra seat for Simon! Nano just about killed me for insisting on using two carseats. Installing Noah's on the plane for the first time led to severe frustration and cursing under his breath. Noah was frustrated because on the flight to Dallas, he couldn't use his tray table, given the height of the seat (one of the shorter ones on the market). It was fabulous to be able to set Simon down and have him happily at my side some of the time, without having him on my lap the entire flight. I knew this is what I wanted for the long flight to Chile. As soon as the flight started to take off, Noah fell asleep. He didn't even get to watch the plane go up into the sky! After only an hour, he woke up, so we had to entertain him for another 2 hours. I had brought some special toys for the flight (coloring books, pens and crayons, plus some small matchbox size emergency vehicles), and he was pretty happy. He also watched part of a video on construction vehicles.
We had about 3 hours layover in Dallas on the way there, and spent it eating, walking, and playing. By this time, it was getting quite late, and Noah was getting into the euphoric, over-tired state. He and I rolled around on the floor with Simon, took pictures, and had fun while we waited for the flight. The counter started to announce that the flight was overbooked, and that they were taking volunteers to not get on the flight. Bummer, we thought, our seat for Simon is gone! We decided to just check his car seat so we wouldn't have to deal with it. This was Big Mistake Number 1! At 9:15 pm, we boarded the flight. We still had the middle seat free for Simon! But, his car seat was far away under the plane, and there was nothing we could do about it. I was the most upset about this grave error, since I was the one who would be holding him throughout the flight. While we were thrilled to have the three seats together, it was a bummer that Nano had the seat on the other side of the aisle, and I had to deal with the needs of both kids at one time! Overall, though, it went much better than expected. Noah slept in his car seat. There was little room for his legs, once we reclined the seat, but at least his head was not falling over.
We arrived in Santiago in the morning, and Noah was happy to watch Dora on the iPhone while we stood in line to pay the reciprocity fee for Simon and proceed through immigration. When we got to baggage claim, we could see Lala, Tata, Maida and Julian up in the galley waiting for us! Noah was happy to see them and waved.
The first thing Noah noticed about Chile was that it was very bright! Coming from the winter, the bright Chilean sun was a bit of a shock! He complained of being hot and the sun being too bright. He didn't want to get in the car until it had cooled down. We spent the trip to Lala's house talking about sights like the tunnel we had to go through, and the mountains. When we finally got to Lala and Tata's house, they opened the door and said, "come in!" Noah took one look, and said, "I want to go home now." I quickly said, "Let's go see the kitchen!" and thankfully, Lala had a huge watermelon on the counter (Noah loves watermelon) and a view of the swimming pool. These two things made Noah feel much better. We had some watermelon and snacks, and then tried to take a nap. It took a bit of convincing, but soon, all four of us were in deep slumber at our destination.
When we woke up, we had guests! The whole family had come over for swimming and then dinner at Lala's house. Noah had so much fun playing with his cousins. He was thrilled to see Nico (13) and Cata (11), who, apart from speaking English with him, had visited our house in the not too distant past, and Noah thought of them fondly. It took a little longer to get used to Jose (8), Maida (5), Julian (6) and Luciana (2). He ran around on his own with the cousins while we ate, though he kept coming back to check in with me. Thankfully, Simon was able to get down early that night.
At around 9:00 pm, Noah came to me and said he was tired. So, I took him back to our room, and he said, "I'm ready to go back home now. I want to go back to Jenkintown." I wasn't surprised that he felt out of his element. I explained that we had to get on an airplane to come to Chile, and that we would be there for a week. He cried. And cried. I told him, "I know, you really want to go home. It feels really far away here, and everything is different. You want to go home. But, Mama and Papa and Simon are here. We are here together. And, we get to play with all of your cousins and see Lala and Tata." Noah cried some more. Then, after about 10 minutes, he said, "Okay, I feel better now." We did a quick tubby, read a few books, and got to bed.
Wednesday, our first full day in Santiago, we hung out in the morning with Julian, and around lunch time, went to a country club that had a huge indoor swimming pool. All the kids (except Luciana) took off from school in the afternoon to hang out with us there. Despite missing his nap, Noah had tons of fun with all of his cousins. They played in the pool with him, as Nano and I alternated between swimming with him and holding Simon. Simon slept in the carrier. As expected, Noah passed out in the car on the way back. He only slept about 20 minutes before we got back to Lala and Tata's house. That evening, we got him to bed relatively early, in preparation for the next day.
Thursday, we spent the morning at Lala's house while Nano prepared for a presentation the next morning at the University of Chile. That afternoon, we headed out to Angeles' house, and hung out while waiting for the kids to come home at around 3pm.
Friday, Nano had his presentation, and I was expected to attend, so that I could meet with some colleagues of my professor there. We managed to get Noah down for a nap at 12.45 and walked out the door at 12.46 to get there for the 1:30 presentation. Angeles babysat Simon and Noah slept most of the time. When we walked back in the door at 3.30, I found Noah in the bathroom, trying to go to the potty by himself. Since his potty seat was in a different bathroom, he had a bit of an accident, but I totally give it to him for wanting to exert his independence! He would have been entirely successful, were it not for that small detail! That afternoon, we headed over to Andres' new house. I love the way Angeles' and Andres' houses are set up for kids -- both houses wind around a nice backyard, with doors from almost all of the rooms facing out there. It is perfect for young children to play outdoors while you keep an eye on them! Noah played with Julian and the neighborhood kids on a scooter, running around with a ball, and just having fun. I spent about 2 out of 3 hours trying to get Simon to sleep! At around 9.30, I gave up, and we decided to get him and Noah home to Lala's house. Noah and Simon both fell asleep in the car, and successfully transferred upstairs to sleep.
Saturday, we had a birthday party to go to in the afternoon. Simon napped, then Noah napped, then Simon napped, and then we made it to the party. We also had to pack our bags, since we were heading directly to the beach from the party. The party was at Nano's friend Topo's house. Their house was like heaven for a three year old! There was a bouncy castle, a swimming pool, a sandbox, a treehouse, a room full of toys including a drum set, light sabers, and balls, a pinata, sugar sodas, and lots of candy! They also had a full outdoor bar and grill, nice music, and all of Nano's friends from high school. In short, it was an absolute blast!
From there, we left to the beach. It is about a 1.5+ hour drive. We didn't arrive until about 9.45 pm. Both the kids fell asleep in the car and for the most part successfully transferred to sleep in the new location. We hung out in the next apartment over (got to love the monitor) for drinks with Andres, Carola and Lala and Tata (Julian and Luciana were still awake...until at least 11.30 pm!). We were pretty pooped so soon thereafter, headed for bed.
Sunday morning, I let Nano sleep in and took Noah to play outside on the playground and see the indoor swimming pool. We had a nice time playing, and by the time we got back, Andres and his family were starting to wake up. We planned on having lunch in Valparaiso, so everyone was getting ready for the 20+ minute ride. Reservations were for about 1.30 or so. Noah fell asleep 10 minutes before we got there. I stayed in the car with him for another 10, then carried him in. He continued sleeping on me, and then on the couch, for another hour or so. I had a delicious local white fish (reineta) dish with fries and salad. Nano had Congrio frito. When Noah woke up, we went down one of the famous elevators of Valparaiso, a small little car that climbs up and down the mountainside. Great fun for the little ones!
This was the end of Noah's decent behavior. By this point, he was so beside himself with tiredness and lack of nutritious food that he was cranky and fussy for pretty much the rest of the trip. He woke up from this nap very cranky, and wouldn't even talk to his cousins. He only wanted to be with me (and let me tell you, he was no joy to be around). He demanded things like iPhones and ice cream. He had tantrums when he did not get them. Everyone tried to placate him, and we ended up going to an ice cream restaurant later that afternoon where he basically ate what would have been lunch (after refusing the chicken nuggets and fries we had for him).
After that, we went to the house of a couple we know from the University of Maryland, who live in Vina del Mar. Again, gorgeous house with huge backyard with lots of windows facing it! They have three kids (1.5, 5 and 7), a trampoline, and a kitchen stocked with peanut butter! Noah was thrilled to eat his first peanut butter and jelly sandwich in days (although in all honesty, I had brought some with us and he was eating it, but still!). Diana also offered him markers and some other toys. I spent another 2 out of about 3 hours trying to get Simon to sleep here. We didn't get there until 6 pm, his bedtime in Chile was about 7.30, and his last nap was interrupted, so he was pretty much a disaster. Lots of crying...I didn't get much of a chance to catch up, but we did get to exchange a few words here and there! :)
Finally, we got back to the apartment, and once again, both kids were sleeping. Noah's dentist is going to kill me for missing so many teeth brushing times while there!
On Monday, Nano wanted to go to his favorite restaurant for his favorite lasagna, so we made an early reservation at 12.30. I had some fabulous sauteed shrimp, and Nano had is infamous Lasagna a la Putanesca. Noah shared some noodles with Julian, and devoured many of my shrimp. When we got back, he was exhausted, and napped from around 2-4, when we had to wake him up in order to head to the airport.
Suffice it to say, the return trip from Chile was pretty much a nightmare. Noah and Simon were both tired and sleep deprived. The ride to the airport from the beach was quite long, but Noah handled it pretty well, given he had just woken from a nap. At the airport, we ate with and then said goodbye to the cousins, who met us there, and Noah was pretty wild with excitement and tiredness. Simon was once again struggling to fall asleep among the waiters crashing dishes, children screaming, and other kitchen noises. There were two great things about the return flight from Santiago to Dallas: we got the bulkhead seat, which meant a bassinet (which Simon did NOT like) and more front leg room for Noah. We also got a seat for Simon and had the carseat with us this time, so I actually got rest!! Nano on the other hand, had no place to put his long legs, so he was pretty uncomfortable! Noah slept most of the time, but was very cranky upon waking. Then, in Dallas, we had a five, yes, FIVE, hour layover. Nano took Noah on train rides, we ate, we walked, I bought Noah an airplane toy, and then we all took the train together for our flight. Nano did not put Noah's car seat in for this flight, and he did not easily fall asleep without it. While he really needed a long nap, he only got about an hour. He was so cranky upon waking that we began to relive the first days after Simon's birth, with Noah saying he didn't want me to hold Simon, that he wanted me to hold him, etc. I ended up walking off the plane with Noah in one arm and Simon in the other. Nano schlepped all the stuff. The stroller was way at the end of the passageway, and I was pooped.
Then, to top it all off, we had only arrived in Newark. We had a whole 1.5 hour car ride ahead of us. We stopped to get a hot dog for Noah and Nano, and took off. Simon cried for about 45 minutes to an hour. Noah cried that he wanted to watch something, then cried that he had to go potty, then cried that he didn't want to go potty, then cried that I tried to get Simon to stop crying, then cried that I told him I didn't like him acting like that, then cried that his dad told him to stop crying, etc., etc., etc.
By the time we walked in the door at around 6pm, we had all lost our patience at least once leading to either yelling or crying. I just wanted to get both of them TO. SLEEP.! Well, it still took awhile. Several hours later, at about 8:15, they were finally asleep.
Wow, what a trip!! Overall, it was great! I was so happy to see Noah thrive with his cousins! Jose played, "give me five...up high...down low...too slow" with him, he ran in a little sprinkler with Luciana, Nico and Cata spoke to him in English, he flew a kite with Julian, he played in the sand with Luciana, he swam with all the cousins, and he had a great time. But, it was disheartening to see his behavior decline along with his napping/sleep schedule. Next time, we will have to be more careful to see that he gets sleep and food in his body!
If there is one thing that saved us with Simon while we were there, it was the White Noise application on the iPhone! It took a few days to figure it out, but I turned it on one night and Simon was finally able to fall to sleep once all the noise was drowned out. Overall, I think he became a better sleeper as a result of this trip, ironically. He can go down in more of a variety of circumstances, and really seems to enjoy/appreciate the darkness and quiet of his room now that we are home!
There were at least three areas of major regression for Noah: 1) eating, 2) using potty, and 3) screen time. When he got back, his babysitter, Tiffany, asked him, "What did you eat in Chile?" His answer: "Nothing. They don't have any food in Chile." He asked repeatedly for goldfish crackers, and I told him they didn't have them in Chile. He didn't want to try anything new, and didn't even seem to like their noodles. The one thing he ate with gusto in the restaurant was shrimp (surprisingly). He also ate and enjoyed an empanada, but he probably quickly forgot about that. And, his friends and family ate and/or offered lots and lots of sugar -- sodas, candy, ice cream, etc. It was hard to get anything healthy down his throat! As far as point 2, I won't go into detail, but lets just say that peeing on the potty went well, but that was about it. For point 3), I was amazed at how there were no limits or monitoring on quantity or contents of television cartoons and iPhone/iPad games. Noah got way more than his usual share of screen time, and we are currently trying to detox.
Pictures to come!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Life as a family of four
We have finally transitioned to our new lives as a family of four! The first weeks and then months we were in survival mode. There were many, many sleepless nights, there was lots and lots of crying, and the exercise ball had to be refilled three times from all the bouncing. Now, there is lots of smiling, only the occasional crying, and just a lot of darn sweetness!
Okay, well, it's not ALL sweetness. The other night I tried to go out to dinner with some girl friends. Here is a recount of what happened when I got home after being called back an hour and a half after I left:
The house is a complete wreck (just as it has been lately). Noah is running around the living room, sweat dripping from his head, having created a mountain of pillows on the couch and trying to go through his tunnel. Nano is practically passed out, next to the pillows, with no apparent capacity to stop the madness. Simon has fallen asleep, but only after over an hour of Nano bouncing him on the exercise ball. While the bouncing was taking place, Noah was on his third Caillou episode, and apparently was jumping from the couch to the bench and to the floor or vice versa. It is a miracle he was not injured.
I tell Noah it is time to go upstairs (since apparently Nano was completely pooped) and the first tantrum ensues. "No, I want to play with Papa! No, mama!" Body collapses onto the floor as I attempt to pick him up. I take him upstairs with him kicking and screaming. Then, he notices we have changed the office around (we are going to set up Simon's crib there) and wants to see. There are shoes and things on the floor from where the guest bed had been, and Noah starts taking them to the closet, "look mama, I'm cleaning up." I then get him to his room, and he starts to scream "No!!" as I put on his pajamas. I am constantly pulling on his feet to drag him back onto the bed as he tries to escape. I try to be a bit playful, with kisses and tickles, and it only works intermittently. He wants nothing to do with me.
Then, "Weh..." Simon starts crying on the monitor. Suddenly, Noah becomes glued to me, "No, mama, I don't want you to hold the baby!!" and crying ensues. I call to Nano, "Simon's awake" and he comes up. Noah's wailing, Simon's trying to nurse, I ask Nano to take Noah into
the other room. He continues wailing and then finds his way back. Apparently, Nano has been physically restraining him and he has escaped. Noah screams he wants me to hold him, then comes back in and actually tries to stop crying, saying, "mama, I stopped crying" though
the sobbing continues. Simon starts to cry, then burps. I then pass him off to Nano to put to sleep, and he says, "what? I have to put him to sleep again??" I go to lay in the bed with Noah. He wants soy milk. And his lemonade from supper. We go down to get it and then go back
upstairs. He finally settles down to sleep at about 9.30.
But really, all in all, it's fantastic. Noah is very sweet with his brother. The other day I was holding Simon, and Noah came over to pull his socks up (they were falling off). He often says, "Look, Simon," and shows Simon a toy. And, when Simon poses one of those adorable smiles, he says, "Look, Mama, he's smiling!!" with genuine excitement.
It is cold here -- 23 degrees outside at noon as I'm writing this. So, we haven't been getting out much on the weekends. One of our favorite past-times has been playing the guitar. Simon sits in the swing and enjoys the music, either Nano or I play some tunes on the guitar. Noah either accompanies on his own guitar, or else dances energetically to the music.
We've also been trying to get Simon on a better naps schedule. Right now, he's doing the short, 45 minute naps. I guess I can't complain, since Noah would only sleep for 20-30 minutes when we put him down. But, I'm happily looking forward to 2 hour long naps from this little man!
Developmentally, Simon is doing what he should -- he just started rolling over from back to front. He was very upset when he realized what he'd done -- he hates being on his tummy! He's been a little slow to develop the muscles for pushing up when on his belly, so he feels a bit desperate and trapped! He has the sweetest coos and screeches, loves to interact with adults, and loves to be entertained by his brother. At his 4 month visit (we were about 10 days early), he was 90 percentile for length, 80th for weight, and 30th for head size (and we thought he had a big head!).
Okay, well, it's not ALL sweetness. The other night I tried to go out to dinner with some girl friends. Here is a recount of what happened when I got home after being called back an hour and a half after I left:
The house is a complete wreck (just as it has been lately). Noah is running around the living room, sweat dripping from his head, having created a mountain of pillows on the couch and trying to go through his tunnel. Nano is practically passed out, next to the pillows, with no apparent capacity to stop the madness. Simon has fallen asleep, but only after over an hour of Nano bouncing him on the exercise ball. While the bouncing was taking place, Noah was on his third Caillou episode, and apparently was jumping from the couch to the bench and to the floor or vice versa. It is a miracle he was not injured.
I tell Noah it is time to go upstairs (since apparently Nano was completely pooped) and the first tantrum ensues. "No, I want to play with Papa! No, mama!" Body collapses onto the floor as I attempt to pick him up. I take him upstairs with him kicking and screaming. Then, he notices we have changed the office around (we are going to set up Simon's crib there) and wants to see. There are shoes and things on the floor from where the guest bed had been, and Noah starts taking them to the closet, "look mama, I'm cleaning up." I then get him to his room, and he starts to scream "No!!" as I put on his pajamas. I am constantly pulling on his feet to drag him back onto the bed as he tries to escape. I try to be a bit playful, with kisses and tickles, and it only works intermittently. He wants nothing to do with me.
Then, "Weh..." Simon starts crying on the monitor. Suddenly, Noah becomes glued to me, "No, mama, I don't want you to hold the baby!!" and crying ensues. I call to Nano, "Simon's awake" and he comes up. Noah's wailing, Simon's trying to nurse, I ask Nano to take Noah into
the other room. He continues wailing and then finds his way back. Apparently, Nano has been physically restraining him and he has escaped. Noah screams he wants me to hold him, then comes back in and actually tries to stop crying, saying, "mama, I stopped crying" though
the sobbing continues. Simon starts to cry, then burps. I then pass him off to Nano to put to sleep, and he says, "what? I have to put him to sleep again??" I go to lay in the bed with Noah. He wants soy milk. And his lemonade from supper. We go down to get it and then go back
upstairs. He finally settles down to sleep at about 9.30.
But really, all in all, it's fantastic. Noah is very sweet with his brother. The other day I was holding Simon, and Noah came over to pull his socks up (they were falling off). He often says, "Look, Simon," and shows Simon a toy. And, when Simon poses one of those adorable smiles, he says, "Look, Mama, he's smiling!!" with genuine excitement.
It is cold here -- 23 degrees outside at noon as I'm writing this. So, we haven't been getting out much on the weekends. One of our favorite past-times has been playing the guitar. Simon sits in the swing and enjoys the music, either Nano or I play some tunes on the guitar. Noah either accompanies on his own guitar, or else dances energetically to the music.
We've also been trying to get Simon on a better naps schedule. Right now, he's doing the short, 45 minute naps. I guess I can't complain, since Noah would only sleep for 20-30 minutes when we put him down. But, I'm happily looking forward to 2 hour long naps from this little man!
Developmentally, Simon is doing what he should -- he just started rolling over from back to front. He was very upset when he realized what he'd done -- he hates being on his tummy! He's been a little slow to develop the muscles for pushing up when on his belly, so he feels a bit desperate and trapped! He has the sweetest coos and screeches, loves to interact with adults, and loves to be entertained by his brother. At his 4 month visit (we were about 10 days early), he was 90 percentile for length, 80th for weight, and 30th for head size (and we thought he had a big head!).
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Noah's Three!!
On Friday, December 17th, Noah turned three! This year has been filled with so much change! At his last birthday party, he was enchanted by candles, the happy birthday song, was talking in short sentences, and had a baby voice. Now, at three, his still enjoys music, loves to drum and play the guitar, talks in complex language, expresses emotion, and has a little boy's voice. We went through a failed attempt at day care, got lucky with a wonderful care situation, traveled to Florida, enjoyed the pool over the summer, and are looking forward to building snowmen this winter. We welcomed a new life into our family, and have been riding the roller coaster of emotions ever since.
We celebrated Noah's party with seven (!) other toddlers and their parents, Nano's parents, and special guests, a Djembe drummer and a guitar player! Noah was very excited about the party, especially about the drummer! They set up, and when they were ready, Noah suddenly counted, "One, Two, Three, GO!!" They took Noah's cue and started to play a little bit before introducing themselves. The excitement and cheer in his voice and dancing was palpable -- I have never seen anyone enjoy anything so much! The guys played some great songs, invited the children to play drums and tambourines as well, and then invited them to dance. Noah started off the dance with exuberant jumping! Then, he led the parade around the house with the kids and the drummers.
Once the musicians left, we got a light dinner ready for the guests. Everyone ate well, and then it was time for the much-anticipated cake! Our friend and neighbor Heather put together a fabulous train cake, which all the kids loved! They all wanted to get a piece of that mountain!
After the cake came the sugar high. Eight toddlers were running around our house, following a game that the father of one of Noah's friends, made up. The kids were now monkeys, and they had to run from end to end of the house looking for the dragon! Nano, who was coming down the stairs at an opportune moment, was the DRAGON! And, the little guys had to feed him cake!! Nyum, nyum, nyum!! They all had a fabulous time.
Then, Noah's buddy Scarlett wanted to give him his present, and chaotic gift-opening ensued! I just let the chaos happen, as any sort of intervention seemed fruitless! He ripped into several gifts in the middle of the floor, as his friends watched. Each one brought one to him, and he was thrilled to receive them!
We love you so much, Noah, and are so happy that you have enjoyed this birthday so much. I cherish this time with you as a sensitive, sweet, exuberant little toddler! We are so lucky to have our lives touched by you.
We celebrated Noah's party with seven (!) other toddlers and their parents, Nano's parents, and special guests, a Djembe drummer and a guitar player! Noah was very excited about the party, especially about the drummer! They set up, and when they were ready, Noah suddenly counted, "One, Two, Three, GO!!" They took Noah's cue and started to play a little bit before introducing themselves. The excitement and cheer in his voice and dancing was palpable -- I have never seen anyone enjoy anything so much! The guys played some great songs, invited the children to play drums and tambourines as well, and then invited them to dance. Noah started off the dance with exuberant jumping! Then, he led the parade around the house with the kids and the drummers.
Once the musicians left, we got a light dinner ready for the guests. Everyone ate well, and then it was time for the much-anticipated cake! Our friend and neighbor Heather put together a fabulous train cake, which all the kids loved! They all wanted to get a piece of that mountain!
After the cake came the sugar high. Eight toddlers were running around our house, following a game that the father of one of Noah's friends, made up. The kids were now monkeys, and they had to run from end to end of the house looking for the dragon! Nano, who was coming down the stairs at an opportune moment, was the DRAGON! And, the little guys had to feed him cake!! Nyum, nyum, nyum!! They all had a fabulous time.
Then, Noah's buddy Scarlett wanted to give him his present, and chaotic gift-opening ensued! I just let the chaos happen, as any sort of intervention seemed fruitless! He ripped into several gifts in the middle of the floor, as his friends watched. Each one brought one to him, and he was thrilled to receive them!
We love you so much, Noah, and are so happy that you have enjoyed this birthday so much. I cherish this time with you as a sensitive, sweet, exuberant little toddler! We are so lucky to have our lives touched by you.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sibling Sweetness
We've definitely been through our share of challenges already. Honestly, the first month was really, really rough! A couple of weeks ago, Noah was awake for 2.5 hours; he was following me as I changed the baby, hanging on my leg as I tried to bounce the baby, demanding that I lay down with him and to put the baby down. Other nights, he has woken twice, and on a good night, he wakes once at around 5 am. Almost every day, he told me, "Mama, I don't want you to hold the baby," usually with a scrunched up face and whiny cry. I followed the advice of several books saying we should validate these emotions. I told him, "I understand. It's hard to see me hold the baby so much. You want me to hold you. I used to only hold you," etc. Then, I got tired of hearing his complaint. And, I told him -- I said, "Noah, I understand. But, I'm tired of hearing you say that." He hasn't said it again since (it's been a few days I think).
Suddenly, Noah has become our helper. Two nights ago, I was giving Simon a bath, and I asked Noah for help getting the tub ready for me. Then, he helped put soap on Simon, and rinse him. Yesterday morning, he wanted to help put diaper cream on the baby. Then, I asked if he would help by holding him while I put my wrap carrier on (takes a couple of minutes, usually accompanied by a crying baby placed on an inanimate object). He was happy to sit on the couch, with Simon propped against him, and smiled a large grin. It was so sweet to see the two of them together, and content!
That morning I drove him to Tiffany's house, and Simon spent the entire trip crying. At one point, I heard Noah spontaneously trying to help by shushing him from his seat, "Pshhh! Pshh!" I couldn't help but smile. Then, at her house, he came up and stroked Simon's head, and was proud to show him off to his buddy Scarlett. When Scarlett approached the carseat, Noah got very protective, and said, "No, Scarlett, that's Mama's!" She said, "No it's not; it's Baby Simon's!" Noah retorted, "No, it's Mama's!" Then, she thought for a minute and replied, "But Mama doesn't stay there." Love these toddler conversations!
Suddenly, Noah has become our helper. Two nights ago, I was giving Simon a bath, and I asked Noah for help getting the tub ready for me. Then, he helped put soap on Simon, and rinse him. Yesterday morning, he wanted to help put diaper cream on the baby. Then, I asked if he would help by holding him while I put my wrap carrier on (takes a couple of minutes, usually accompanied by a crying baby placed on an inanimate object). He was happy to sit on the couch, with Simon propped against him, and smiled a large grin. It was so sweet to see the two of them together, and content!
That morning I drove him to Tiffany's house, and Simon spent the entire trip crying. At one point, I heard Noah spontaneously trying to help by shushing him from his seat, "Pshhh! Pshh!" I couldn't help but smile. Then, at her house, he came up and stroked Simon's head, and was proud to show him off to his buddy Scarlett. When Scarlett approached the carseat, Noah got very protective, and said, "No, Scarlett, that's Mama's!" She said, "No it's not; it's Baby Simon's!" Noah retorted, "No, it's Mama's!" Then, she thought for a minute and replied, "But Mama doesn't stay there." Love these toddler conversations!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)