Food and kids

Food and kids!

Okay, I knew this was going to be a big one for me as a parent. Kids are given candy left and right in this country. I remember attending a birthday party during one of our visits here for a 3 or 4 year old. First, there were candy on the children's plates. Then, there were popsicles. Then cake. Oh, and then I think they maybe actually served some hot dogs. Well, things have been pretty similar this time around! Candy is given out constantly to kids.

We just came back from a week long camping trip with 5-6 other families here in the summer. To be fair, it was summer here, and summer hours are apparently different from school year hours. But, let's just say, breakfast was sometime around 10-12, depending on when you and your parents woke up. Lunch was never before 4 pm. And dinner was about 9 pm. The kids were given cookies and candy throughout the day between breakfast and lunch, but rarely did I see a healthy snack. Oh, and you want cookies for breakfast? Here you go! Nutella? No problem!

We eliminated artificial colors and flavors from our kids diet about 2 years ago. It is not cheap, nor is it easy, but it resulted in an improvement in behavior from the kids. So, when they mentioned in kindergarten they would be serving chocolate coins at a holiday party, and Trader Joe's and Whole Foods had already sold out of the natural ones, I made my own for Noah. That is how important it was to me to maintain the diet. Well, here artificial colors and flavors are everywhere and in virtually everything. I have yet to find a yogurt without artificial ingredients. Brightly colored popsicles are inevitable at any social occasion. It is a battle that is impossible to win. I finally brought my own real ingredient popsicles to the last social occasion, and that turned out okay, but it is just impossible to ward it all off. At the camping trip, the kids would appear with all sorts of candy in their mouths -- chocolate, lollipops, gummies... It is absolutely futile to avoid these. So I have given up for now. And yes, the behavior has been worse than normal too.

Now the boys are in school in Chile. In pre-K, we were given a sort of menu to follow for snacks. It is great -- fruit one day, cereal one day, a sandwich, and yogurt. Friday is "free". Well, first grade is another story. Noah has reported to me that all the kids bring junk food -- packages of cookies, packages of potato chips, etc. One thing he described as a "hamburger made of candy", which I can only guess was an alfajor (similar to a moon pie). You can even go over to the kiosk at school and buy colorful lollipops, packages of cookies, and other junk food. Snacking here is abominable. Peanut butter on crackers, or other less offensive snacks are rarely to never seen.

Perhaps it is not surprising then that Chile has the highest rates of childhood overweight and obesity in Latin America. And it is rising. How high is it? About 1 in 5 of children ages 3-6 is overweight, according to data from the Encuesta Longitudinal de Primera Infacia (ELPI) 2012.

Chile!

Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote a post, and the short and simple recap is that we are now a family of 5 and have just moved to Chile for 7 months!

This should be dated early January!

In preparation for the move, we bought 6 large suitcases. We filled those 6 and 3 more, plus 2 small suitcases, and headed for the airport! Our babysitter came with Noah, Simon, Rosie and me on the train, and Nano drove the car full of 11 suitcases and 2 carseats (plus a booster seat) to the airport. He parked the car and we filled 3 luggage carts and wheeled them over to the check in at US Airways. Since Nano had Rosie's ticket attached to his, the computer said "see agent" when he was to check in his bags. This was the start of the trouble. The agent didn't understand that there were 5 people traveling, thought there were only 3, and tried to limit us to 7 bags. After a good 30 minutes of arguing, trying to be patient, and waiting, as the agent called some superior who actually knew how to count, we finally got checked in. By this time, it was getting late! We made it to security, but were missing some stamp that the same agent forgot to give us for the baby. So, back down Nano went while we waited some more. Finally, we got through security -- at least that went smoothly -- and made our way to the gate. Just as we got there, they started boarding. We had time to purchase a water and then we got on the plane. We were on our way! The boys played happily with the ipad and Rosie took a nap for the first flight (Simon followed suite toward the end of the flight). In Miami, we had to walk all the way across the airport to get to our gate. The boys were great troopers -- by this time, Noah was very tired. He was so tired he didn't want to walk, but he did. We finally made it to the gate, and waited to board. Once on the plane, we got stuck on the ground for a while. I urged Noah to go to sleep because he was so tired. We heard an announcement that there were some safety issues they were checking out. 30 minutes later they cleared us to leave the gate, and the plane made it's way to the Tarmac. Then, planes started passing us, and we started to suspect something. Finally, after another 20 minutes or so, we were sent back to the gate. We had to deboard the train, and walk back to the other side of the airport to wait for a new one! The boys were great troopers and walked without complaining. They tried to sleep on the floor at the airport but they were already too awake from all the walking, so I pulled out the toys and games I had brought for the plane ride. Then, I got Nano and myself a beer! We finally left the airport at 1:00 am!

We arrived in Chile the next morning at 11 am. The line through immigration was long but we got to take the short line for families and individuals with disabilities. It was a pretty short wait! We walked through the duty free store and on to the baggage claim to look for our bags. Lala and Tata were waiting for us and waving from above. We sent all our numerous suitcases through the security machines and then walked through the gates to the reception area at the airport. Lala and Tata had a large van waiting for us for all the suitcases, and the kids and I went with his mom to our new apartment.

The apartment is quite large for an apartment in this area of town, with ample bedrooms and a common living/dining area. There is also a galley kitchen with a laundry area with washer and dryer at the end. All of the furniture is either brand new or like new, though it is clear that the countertops and cabinets are quite worn. The floors are hardwood in the living area and wood laminate in the bedrooms and halls. There is also an ample entryway upon entering, and ample closets throughout.

Naming feelings and sibling rivalry

One of the things we spend a lot of time doing with Noah is learning to understand and name our feelings. He is just starting to be aware of how he is feeling when he is very hungry and cranky (and therefore non-stop crying), but he has been aware of some feelings (like anger) for some time.

Another thing we spend a lot of time doing with the kids is dealing with sibling showdowns. Multiple times a day, Simon and Noah both want the same toy. It doesn't matter what it is -- Simon will be playing with a train, and Noah will go up and take it. Simon will scream and cry. Noah will turn or run away. I will try to convince Noah to give it back, or distract Simon by finding another toy or activity. Or, I will try to distract Noah by showing him some other toy or activity. This is a huge effort that takes up a lot of time! Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

Yesterday morning, Simon was holding a track riser (a small plastic piece used to hold up the plastic train tracks). Noah came and took it from him. Simon started to scream and cry. I told him to give it back and he didn't. Then, I said I was disappointed with his choice not to give it back. He then placed it on top of the shelf. Meanwhile, I had found another one for Simon, and suddenly Simon ended up with two. Then Noah started to scream and cry because he wanted one. Eventually, I gave him one, and Simon another one. Then Noah screamed and cried because he wanted 3 like Simon had. I finally went to get him another one. Then Noah screamed and cried because he wanted to have MORE than Simon! During all this, I had also been setting up the breakfast bar for them to eat, and by the second instance, they were sitting in front of the food and not eating. Around the middle of this screaming and crying match, I knew that Noah was just very HUNGRY as he had not eaten yet that morning. (He was also probably tired as he was still recovering from the trip he took with his dad where he stayed up a lot later than normal). So, I told him he could not stop crying because his tummy was empty. He had to fill it up in order to feel better. He finally started to eat about 5 minutes after I drew the line at not giving him more of these "toys" than Simon and told him he had to eat (that is, after 5 more minutes of crying!). Once the episode was over, I pointed out to him that he felt better because he had eaten, and he had just been really hungry. Later, he told Jill that he had been "really really crying like crazy" because he had been hungry that morning. So, I think he got it (even though in the moment, he still can't recognize it yet).

A while ago, we had an incident in the bathtub where it was time to wash Noah's hair. Noah hates getting his hair washed. He always has -- ever since he was maybe 18 months. Now, at almost 5, he tolerates it...sometimes! Usually he is adamant that he does not want to wash his hair. On one of these occasions, Nano decided it was time to wash his hair, and just started to wet it and add soap. Noah lost it -- he started to scream and cry, and his whole body began to shake. I looked at him and thought, "wow, he is feeling completely and utterly powerless." It took him a while to recover after the event was over, I think I soothed him in the rocking chair, and talked about what had happened. I told him that when his dad started to wash his hair, he felt like he had no power. Next time we should ask him for permission, and respect his decision. He eventually calmed down. He really seemed to get the power thought.

Fast-forward to this morning.

This morning, Simon was playing with the Salty train on the train tracks. Noah came and took it away. Simon cried. I convinced Noah to play with the Thomas instead, and Simon got Salty back. Then, Noah got Stepney's red (cat) toy and started to play with it, but Simon wanted it and started to say, "It's mine!" while crying and very upset. I gave Simon a different toy to show the cat. Eventually, they moved on to something else. Then, Simon picked up the red cat toy and started to use it with Stepney. Noah then grabbed it out of his hands. I was in the kitchen and they were in the play room. I heard Simon become completely distraught about having lost control over the toy once again. He was crying and extremely upset. Noah came into the kitchen, and I said to him, "Noah, do you remember how you felt when Papa washed your hair and you didn't want him to? You felt like you didn't have any power. That is how Simon is feeling right now. He feels like he has no power." Noah suddenly got it. He looked concerned, and immediately went over and gave the toy back to Simon. He said, "Here you go, you can have it." And from that moment on, the rest of the morning, Noah was very sweet and understanding with Simon. He suddenly made up a game for them to play together, by showing Simon what to do. He said, "Simon, Look!" and started to run with tiny steps over to the couch, then bang into the couch and make some exclamation. Simon immediately smiled and followed suite. The two of them repeated the new game multiple times and then sat down for breakfast.

It's amazing how far 5 is from 3, or 4, or 2 for that matter. Noah could finally empathize with Simon, if only briefly, and it completely changed his approach with him this morning. We shall see what other mornings bring!

First day back to school and some updates

Well, this week marked Noah's first day back to school! He had a fabulous time! We posed for a family picture, and then headed off to school! He already knew his teacher from last year, and was very excited to start back. He will have one friend in his class, one boy who is known as a bit of a troublemaker, and one other boy. The rest are girls, some of whom he knows, and one of whom is, I believe, his first CRUSH (or maybe just a good friend? Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions)! This summer, he came back from camp one day very excited to say he had a new friend, whose name was Tally. After a day or so, she started playing with the other girls, and he was sad that she didn't play with him anymore.

We first went into the classroom to figure out where his cubby was, where Noah sat down to show the teacher his new Thomas backpack, about which he was quite excited. She took us to the cubbies, and he put his stuff away. Then, I walked him back into the classroom, and he happily went to play with some toys. Gone are the days of sadness upon my leaving! It's hard to believe the same little boy who would cling to me like glue gladly goes to play with the toys without a second thought! It's amazing the difference a few years will make. :)

The report after he got back was that he had had a great time, was very happy with all of his teachers, and only said good things about being back at his wonderful school. The next day, I brought Simon with us to drop him off, and he had a great time going down the slide in the back. I'm sure he'll love it once he starts going; it will be a very familiar place to him!

Noah spent the summer going to camp from 9-1 each day, and spending the rest of the day with our wonderful babysitter. Then, the whole month of August was off. However, it turned out to be a huge learning opportunity for Noah! One of the benefits of having an overqualified caregiver who is almost done with her MA in early childhood education and certified in Montessori education is that she has no lack of ideas for how to keep the kids occupied!

I spent many days working from home, and very rarely heard crazy screaming or fighting coming from the kids (something I am accustomed to hearing when I'm the one in charge!). Jill kept them both busy, learning, and working together most of the time. She brought her Montessori sand letters, and taught Noah to spell some simple words. She worked with Noah on writing letters on white boards and other media. I have been very excited to see these changes! He is learning so quickly, and is gaining more and more control over his fine motor so that he is less frustrated with writing now.

Simon now knows all of his letters, and often counts by himself. When he is distracted, he usually skips number 6, number 14, and maybe one other number, but he usually gets to 20, and from there, counts, "21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29...ONE HUNDRED!" It is the cutest thing. I think he got the idea of blurting out one hundred dramatically from Noah, who has done this from time to time (skipping a bunch of numbers, of course!). When he is not distracted, he really can count to 29 without skipping any numbers (though fourteen and fifteen sound pretty much the same).

Simon is using a lot of language now. One fun phrase is, "Mama, say it!", which he'll say when he wants me to repeat what he is saying. He often catches on to things we are saying, and makes associations. Last week we went to Briar Bush, a local nature center, where we saw a turtle and a frog, along with other small animals. While we were there, we ran into my friend's children (who were with their sitter). Later that day, I was talking to Simon, and I said, "remember the animals we saw today? We saw a frog, and a turtle. Remember?" Simon then immediately said, "Mason!" (the name of our friend's older child). I was so impressed that he was really catching on to the idea of the past, and it brought up this obvious association for him, which clued me in to know that he knew exactly what I was talking about.

Of course, Noah and Simon often have a ton of fun together. Lately, they have both been pretending they are kitty cats, crawling around saying, "Meow!" around the house, and laughing hysterically. I happen to love this play, because, as it turns out, kitty cats don't hit each other or steal toys from each other, which makes for very harmonious play! And, when I remind the kitties that "kitty cats don't whine," the tone of the meow is quickly revised! It is so cute to watch them play with one another and build upon their sibling love.

Noah is spending less time playing with trains now, and is more interested in games and interactive activities. Simon loves playing with puzzles, often pulling them off the shelf for us to do together.

Simon pee trained at around 22 months. He still has accidents from time to time, and needs our help to get there when he needs to go, but he stays dry as long as we remember. Of course, he has only pooped in the potty for a long, long time! Of course, there was the trip to my boss' lake house where he dropped a brown one on the floor unbeknownst to me until the other house guests cleaned it up, but that was the one (very embarrassing) exception!

Life is good! These ages are a really great combination! Noah is beyond the defiant stage and follows most instructions, and Simon has not hit that stage yet!

Tickets, trains, shopping carts, ice cream

Our lives are so full of joy. I say this and an image of Noah crying and whining comes to my mind, the way he greeted me yesterday unhappily saying he did not like me. The honest truth is that it is really hard to parent that little boy. He is often on the verge of a tantrum, especially as he continues to adjust to life without naps. But, he is sweet, and sensitive, and caring, and loving. Yesterday and this morning, he and his dad built the Ikea desk that I am currently writing on, He was so diligent in offering the tools, screws, and other parts to his dad. Before he falls asleep, his last words are often "I love mama," accompanied by a hug. He tries really hard to do what we expect of him, for the most part, unless he is tired or hungry (both of which are quite common by about 4 pm). So, that is what life with a 4 year old is about -- constant battles of will, exertion of independence, testing of consequences, occasional but enormous tantrums, all accompanied by expansive excitement about new or favorite things (trains, cars, etc.), immense joy in learning, an earnestness in confronting the world and new things, and buckets of sweetness. Our lives are indeed full of joy.

Simon, at age 21 months, is now mostly potty trained (at least at home), knows colors, letters and numbers, counts to 20 (though between 13 and 17 it is all mostly confused), and is running (often away from us, unfortunately). He has a coy smile, and will repeat whatever word it is he is trying to learn until you say it back to him. When he really wants our attention, he walks over to us (especially to Noah), leans forward, and looks up into our faces, and says, "Woah?" (or "mama" or "papa") earnestly, until we answer him.

We recently took a trip to see the "real" Thomas train (the Strasburg railroad brings in a Thomas engine). Both of the boys were fascinated. Simon didn't stop excitedly saying, "Thomas!!" every time he saw a Thomas engine on a shirt, or balloon, or on the actual train, until we left. Noah's favorite part, he said, was sitting on the train itself. Their joy at this visit was so worth it! Afterwards, we tried to get a quick picture at the front of the train. Not surprisingly, the whole thing is cordoned off, and you are forced to sit on a bench in front of a photographer who will snap a picture. I waited in line, put the two little guys on the bench, and stepped back to snap a shot myself. Suddenly, my children were accosted! The man in the orange vest whose job it was to make the kids sit together or smile or something was right next to them, barking at them to sit closer together, to smile, etc. They both started crying. The only picture I got was of a man in an orange vest in front of half of Thomas. I tried sitting with them to calm them down for a formal picture, but that didn't work either. Note to self: make sure Nano gets in the line with us next time!!!

What they are up to

Simon and Noah are an amazing joy and overflow my heart with love. Simon is now 20 months. At our last doctor's appointment, he was about 20 percentile for height for age (though the appointment was a bit late). The doctor was quite amazed as she listened to him count from 1 to 7 as she waded through newly introduced electronic medical records. Her comment was, "wow, he knows them, even if he can't even pronounce them very well yet" I'm sure she would have been even more impressed had she seen him in the tubby any night of the week counting to 12! His interest and amazement with letters and numbers is something that is truly mindboggling -- I mean, I don't have a lot of experience raising small children, but his tendency to point out letters and numbers, and state what they are (or their sounds) is something I didn't even know was possible. It is true, his pronunciation is still developing. For example, balloon sounds more like, "munuh," Noah is "Wowah," and sometimes he insistently says something I can't understand, but he is so amazingly talkative and not at all shy with words or sounds. When we go over a bump in the car, he says, "woah!" When we listen to music in the car, he sings along. Sometimes, Noah is an even better translator than I am. The other day, I gave Simon a car, and he said, "mah cah." I didn't quite get it until Noah said, "Simon wants more cars."

Simon is also a sweetie. He loves his blankie, and loves to cuddle. He is having a hard time with separation these days. If I so much as leave the room for more than a minute, he calls out, "mama?" and comes to find me if he can. It pains my heart to leave him in the mornings, not because he is crying (most of the time he is not) but because I will miss spending the next 6 hours with him and all of his cuteness.

Noah, meanwhile, has an astounding sense of his self, his (high) capabilities, and moral fortitude. He has been complaining that at school, Ruby and Grace do not help clean up, and then they get to sit next to the teacher. He doesn't think that is fair. He was so upset about it that he did not want to go to school yesterday. We talked him about what we could do, like maybe we could talk to the teacher about it, or maybe he could tell them himself. Then, he said, "I know, I can tell them that if they do not clean up, they can't sit next to Mrs. Griffen!" We told him that sounded like a great idea. I accompanied him to talk to the teacher about this, and told her his idea (as he asked me to). She explained that he always wants to follow the rules, and gets very upset when other children do not do so.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed how Simon liked to pull objects, and mentioned we should get a large dinosaur that was in the garage at the top of the ladder so he could play with it. That morning, I went to take a shower while Nano watched the kids, and as I was finishing up, I heard Noah climbing up the stairs. He said to me,

"we should go to the garage to get the dinosaur. Because it's really high up there."

I said, "yes, we can do that when I get home later."

He said, "Yes, because I can't reach it."

"That's right," I said, "you need an adult to help you."

"Yes," he said, because I couldn't get it down, it's right at the edge."

At that moment, I realized he had apparently just gone outside to the garage, undetected, by himself, climbed the ladder, by himself, and attempted to lift the heavy wooden dinosaur and carry it down the ladder, by himself. This is not a friendly ladder we're talking about, it's one with very small steps, and goes up high to the top of the garage, where we have a little loft storage spot. I was a bit mortified.

"Noah, you can't go up there by yourself because it is dangerous. You could fall. Why didn't you ask Papa?"

"Well, Papa won't let me go on the ladder." 

"Yes, because it is very dangerous. But if you really need to do something, you need an adult to help you."

I restrained myself against scolding him; I think he must have learned part of that lesson by actually trying. I also think I have to accept that he is indeed an independent creature, and I can only do my best to teach him what is okay and what is not, but ultimately he will make his own judgements when I am not around.

Noah's play has been evolving substantially. He is now able to spend large blocks of time entertaining himself by building things with legos and his train set. He has elaborate train configurations all over the floor, and uses large towers of legos to build supports for bridges, etc. It is really fascinating to see all the creativity and ingenuity developing already.

Sentences, haircut, kitties

Well, the day finally came where I got tired of trying to train Simon's hair to go to the side instead of into his eyes and I chopped off the first precious locks of that fine baby hair! His new look is quite different! Still adorable of course, but with bangs. We have been struggling with sleep issues (again?) lately, and for a while he was awake for 2-3 hours over night for several nights. On one of these occasions I think it was that he made the sentence, "open the door?" His first sentence came in Cancun a few weeks ago, where he said, "open water" when he wanted me to open the sippy cup straw so he could drink. The words are coming lightening fast -- now he repeats almost everything. Two new words from yesterday were bus and white. I have moved from the simple naming of objects in his books to using the colors, or verbs, etc. He is catching on fast! Of course, most listeners can not distinguish his word "car" from "star," but some of the words are crystal clear, like "eight," for example. He can name almost all of the numbers (exceptions are seven and sometimes six, one sounds like a nasal "uh", three sounds like "tea", but two, four, five, nine and ten sound clear), and is fascinated by them. He spent a long time in Cancun just looking at the numbers above the doors and having me name them. He is equally fascinated by letters and their sounds, and he knows the sounds of A, B, D, F, H, M, O, P, S, T, and Y -- he will make the sounds whenever he sees them, whether on a sign at a store, on my shirt, or when he's playing with the magnet letters.

He also knows what he wants more than ever! One of his latest obsessions is the screen -- computer or iPhone, he wants to see videos. He points at my phone and says, "again?" (uh-den), or at the computer screen with, "nuh, nuh, nuh?" which is short for railroad crossing (after all, that's what it sounds like). Sometimes when he doesn't get it, he gets very, very upset!

The switch from two to one nap has been very slow going and painful! His awake time is only about 3 hours in the morning, but between his last nap and falling asleep, he needs closer to 4.5 or more before he'll settle. I will be very happy when we are over this hump!

Noah is also transitioning slowly from one to no naps. He is napping about 3 times a week, and we are trying to get it down to 2. When we went cold turkey from 3 to 0, we had some evenings with a ferocious bear, so we are trying to go more gradually this time, hoping that age is on our side!

The other day we stopped at a pet shop and there were baby kittens there! When I asked him which one was his favorite, he said the baby kittens and their mommy. He wanted to take all of them home, and their mommy, because if we just took one, "they would miss their mommy." So true!

Noah is also starting to enjoy writing a bit more, though it is still not his favorite. He is learning to tell the time on the clock, and is getting more and more control over his fine motor skills. Today he told me that he had had a dream about his cousin Cata, but he didn't want to tell me the best part. I asked him what it was, and told him I wouldn't get mad (apparently what he was fearing!). He said she was jumping off of the stones and he was laughing. Sounds adorably sweet!

Another sleep-talker and it's finally getting through

So, my last post mentioned a lot of the words Simon is saying frequently. By far, the word that comes out of his mouth most is, "Tah!" (car). He stands on the bed to look for "tah, tah!," he peers out of the window on the stairs to find a "tah!" and he loves to walk outside and look at the "tah, tah!" Well, night before last, I settled next to Simon at his 11 pm wake-up, and just after he fell into a slumber, he adjusted himself, and suddenly shouted out, "tah! tah!" Then, kept right on sleeping peacefully.

Last weekend weekend we had some friends who have a 4 year old and a baby over for dinner, and the kids were playing with Simon. Noah turned to Lily and said very emphatically and in his teaching voice, "Lily, you have to look at his face. If he makes a bad face, that means you have to stop." That says everything I've been trying to get him to understand in a nutshell!

Simon and Noah are having great fun playing together in the evenings. They have a bath together, and the last couple of nights have invented a game where Simon throws his hands down, telling Noah (standing up) to suddenly drop down. Noah does it, making a big splash, to Simon's delight. They of course have to do this repeatedly. Then, they move to our bed, where I try to get pajamas on the two of them, while they jump, laugh, and play. It is really delightful to hear that chorus of laughter!

First Valentine's party

Well, honestly, I don't actually know what transpired. However, today was Noah's first real Valentine's party! We spent the last week or so working on the 13 Valentines, one for each of the children in his class (he did not want to make one for the teachers, because he "does not love them"). Noah cut out all of the hearts by himself, and wrote on several of them. Sometimes, the names turned out looking like this "JCAK" (Jack, written in the correct order, but somehow the C ended up in an unusual place), and other times, they came out perfectly "CHLOE." Other times, the names were too hard and I wrote them myself. We used a paint stamp for some, markers on some, and stickers on most of them. It was a lot of work, I mean, fun.

So, today Noah came home with a bag full of Valentines. Some were homemade, others were store-bought. A couple had scribbles on them, making me very proud of Noah's letters, and others were just adult-written (to be honest, a few of Noah's Valentines turned out that way as well -- 13 is a lot!). A couple had stickers included, and a couple had temporary tatoos (kids this age LOVE tatoos!!). I was pleased that there was limited candy involved, but about 4 parents did resort to candy. And boy, did Noah know which ones had candy. "Where is the one with the lollipop?" he asked. I had sneakily taken it out and placed it on the sideboard for later. But, he is too smart for that! "Where is the one with a number 13 on the package?" I don't know, but I suspect that is one box that "accidentally" stayed in the car when we walked into the house.

Now, it's not that candy is a bad thing, but actually there is a simple equation explaining what happens when Noah gets candy. It goes something like this: Noah + candy = Terminator. He gets very insistent on wanting to eat the candy. He really, really wants it. He is on the verge of a tantrum about having it. He is on the verge of a tantrum about having more. He. Loves. Candy. Read, "I WANT IT NOW!!"

Okay, well, I have to be fair. He actually did quite a good job today. He had one small sweet-tart type candy in the car when I picked him up, and then ate his yogurt that I bring in the car as a snack. He didn't request more after the yogurt went down. Then, once home, he had one small package of Nerds candy, and I told him the rest would be for later. I also bought a (quite large) cookie for him as my present for Valentine's day (at least that way, the carbs off-set a little bit some of the sugar), and told him he could have it after dinner. I never saw him eat dinner so happily! He actually asked for seconds (spaghetti with meat sauce) and ate an entire green bean.

After dinner, he had his (quite large) cookie. I gave him half and told him to save the rest for later. He ate it very happily. Then, he wanted the other half. I told him to wait for 10 minutes first. He obliged. Then, he said, he still wanted it. So, I gave the rest to him. I think this may have been a very happy day for him! Candy and cookies, all in the same day!

Oh, the sugar. We have years of holidays of sugar ahead. Halloween, Valentine's day, Christmas, and every other holiday where it all boils down to sugar. I can't tell you how many meltdowns we have had over sugar. I even captured one of them on video, lest people not understand how it it can affect him (this one is entitled, "I want a cupcake" and that is what the tantrum is about, in its entirety; I only captured a few of the 30 minutes the actual tantrum lasted).

Tonight, as I was putting him to sleep (Nano was out for a candidate interview), I looked at his adorable, sweet face, and saw the cutest, sweetest thing I had ever seen. This little guy is adorable. I told him I loved him. He said, "I love you too, mama." This was followed by him squishing me saying, "I love mama!!" What a sweetheart.

Oh, and Simon's language explosion continues. Today, I was taking off his shoes and socks as I do customarily when we get home (I read somewhere that when they are learning to walk, it should be shoeless), I took off his shoes, one at a time, and then his socks, one at a time, saying, "one...and..." and just as I was about to say two, Simon said, "two," knowingly. He is amazing! And, just to top of the cuteness, he has been humming to me, Nano, and the babysitter all day the "Are you sleeping" song. As soon as I got home, he saw me, then headed straight to the playroom to "sing."

And, by the way, you need to know that Simon. Loves. Cars. I got rid of a ton of the cars we had accumulated from consignment sales. Now, the few that we do have are constantly dumped out of their basket, slid down the ramp, pushed across the floor, carried around the house, and lined up on the table. It is really amazing how much he loves those cars! Outside, when one goes by, he says, "tah." I'd say Simon's favorite things are cars, stickers, and walking at the moment. Noah's three are friends, playing pretend, and the Thomas trains.

The boys

There is a lot of cuteness at our house these days! Simon started walking at 15 months. After several mini steps here and there, he finally started to walk on January 7th. Now, he toddles around the house with one foot facing slightly outward, mirroring ever so slightly the cute crabwalk he used to do. He often walks to the basket where we keep shoes, picks out his shoe, and says "shoe" (suuw), and then carries it over to the door and says, "outside" (ow-sigh). If we don't comply, he usually starts to cry unless we are successful at distraction. Once ow-sigh, he just walks, and walks, and walks, down the driveway, to the right, and down to the neighbors' house where they have some huge lights lining the walk leftover from Christmas. He points at them and says, "off!!" very emphatically! He then tries turning the little ones on and off by twisting them into their sockets.

Simon's language has taken off. While Noah was in Chile, Simon picked up a lot of words from the books we read. In the end, we had a good time, bonded a lot, and Noah bonded a lot with his dad. He actually had a fabulous time with his cousins, and came back more mature. After he got back, Simon he was a bit more quiet for a short bit, and then suddenly the language started to come like a landslide. Now, he says, "ball" (bah), "doll" (dah), "car" (tah), "star" (taw), "dog" (doh), "cat" (ta, with a in apple), "hat" (ha, with a in apple), "hot" (hot, while shaking his hand), "blankie" (bahbee), "tete" (tete, means binky) "baby" (baybay) "strawberry" (awbebee), "palta" (pawta), "agua" (agua) "hot dog" (ha-doh), and "apple" (appah), to name a few that come to mind. He tries to say Monty, which sounds something like "Tahtee." He also repeats things a lot, and his dad has taught him, "yes, sir!" (yeisah). He also sings, "ee ii ee ii uuu" from Old MacDonald, and if you sing, "Are you sleeping, are you sleeping," he will hum the next verse for Brother John. And, he loves to eat broccoli! He loves to color, to stick stickers on paper, and try to do whatever Noah does. He likes for things to be in their place. If there is a pacifier on the floor, he will hand it to me and motion for me to put it away. If his blankie (the one that is not the preferred one) is out of the crib, he will motion for us to put it back in. Nano has a song he sings to Simon, and whenever he says, "boom," Simon drops onto his bottom. This is one of his tricks, too -- if you are laying on the bed, he will come and plop on top of you, thinking it is hilarious!

Noah is finally over (for now?) his aggressive behavior towards Simon, which is a huge relief! We don't have to be watching over them like hawks, and there is no intentional hurting. Of course, Simon still tries to get what Noah has, or knock things over, which is a challenge to Noah, but he is dealing with it much better! Sometimes, he looks like a defensive lineback, but at least there is no pushing for the most part!

The other day, I went to take a shower, which is a hard moment for Simon because he has to separate from me. He started to cry, and Noah went over to him saying, "Monkey, monkey, monkey," in a singsong way, the way I would say it when we read a certain story, until Simon stopped crying and started smiling. Very sweet!

Missing Noah

Well, it has been 5 days since Noah left with Nano to see his family in Chile. The night before last I was beside myself with grief. I felt like I did at the hospital when he was just born and they had taken him away and wouldn't let me go see him. I want to be with my baby! They aren't scheduled to be back until January 4th, which truly seems like an eternity from now. Nano is exhausted too, given that he is 100% caregiver, 100% of the time. He even looked into returning early, and it would cost $3200 -- which is way more than anyone in their right mind would pay for anything (How do these airlines get away with that???!!), except maybe a new car.

Yesterday we got to connect with Facetime. We had tried the couple of days prior, but it just seemed too awkward. But, I took the phone with me and showed him things around the house, and then set up his race track and played with the cars with him, all remotely. We had lots of fun. It made me feel just a little better. At the beginning of the conversation, I said to him, "Noah, I miss you so much, what can I do?"

He said, "maybe we can talk every day."
I said, "Okay, that's a good idea. How do you feel in Chile?"
"I feel good in Chile. But I still love you."

By the end of the conversation, he didn't want to hang up with me. We really got to feel close again, even from miles away. But, the distance is creeping up on me again! I really, really miss that guy. The house is so quiet. I miss his witty responses, his endless energy, his sweet body next to mine as he tries to fall asleep.

Simon: Tiny steps, new words!

Simon has officially taken his first step! Okay, well it was really just a tiny "shuffle," but I think it counts! On Noah's birthday, he started standing up from the floor by himself, and while standing there, shuffled his foot to keep his balance! :) He has since stood for about 20 seconds, and shuffled once more. I actually got it on video, so I'll have to come update this post soon! Noah is proud of his brother, and was laughing and encouraging as he was doing it. I thought he might be walking within a couple of weeks, but he doesn't really show much interest in practicing, knowing he's much quicker on his hands and knee/foot (crabcrawl). We'll see when he actually starts walking! My prediction is still for 15 months (he'll be 15 months in a few days).

He also has a few new words! After "uh-oh," which showed up at 12 months, he started saying, "no, no, no," when doing something he is not supposed to. His favorite forbidden activity is to pick up Monty's dry cat food, put it in his mouth, and say, "no, no, no, no, no, no, no." I hear a little ding sound of the food/hand in the bowl, and then the nos, and know exactly what he's doing! He has also started saying the word, "ball," which of course sounds like "bah." He picked it up from one of his books, where I repeated the word to him, and he repeated after me, and has applied it to other circumstances, like this morning, when I had him in the car and there was a ball next to him that he wanted.

Simon has been very receptive to language. I don't know if it is because I am more aware of how babies learn, or if he is just focusing more on that than other skills right now. We also spend a lot of time reading while he uses the toilet (that's what keeps him on there; otherwise, he would want to jump right down). He tries to say bird, which sounds like "bwah," every time we look at the page with a bird on it.

Overall, he's much more engaged with the world now. He has lots of belly laughs, makes little jokes, and loves playing. He also has some serious separation anxiety, but seems to deal with it okay. He is now starting to push Noah away when I have him on my lap, so now they both need to learn to share mommy!!

Sibling Rivalry

Well, it's finally here. Noah is having a hard time with Simon, and we are battling with some aggression issues. It got to the point that anytime Simon was around, Noah wanted to "play." Then, the play was always a bit too rough, and we found ourselves constantly reminding him to be gentle with Simon. Then, he would run and slide into Simon, then sit a little too close, and partly on top of him. Then, the hitting and kicking started with Bianca. It continued with us. He is clearly testing us, and it is a really tough test!

A few nights ago, he told me that when Bianca is here, he makes Simon sad. I said, "how do you do that?" He said, "I pinch his cheeks." I said, "how do you think that makes him feel?" His answer, "sad." "How does it make you feel?" "Well, my body thinks it's happy."

We have talked about his body before, as in, "listen to your body. If you are tired, you can go to sleep. Don't fight it." I think it's his way of conceptualizing two opposing thoughts/feelings at the same time. I can tell he feels sad because he hurt his brother, but also happy/satisfied for doing so. Of course, this is totally normal. But, of course, it is also totally unacceptable!

While time outs worked for us for a while, they seem to have lost their effectiveness. First, we did them in our room (because we can keep the door closed), but he has finally figured out that he can start going through our stuff while in there, rather than being in time out. So this is no longer a viable option. Second, he just doesn't seem to respond to them anymore.

So, I have turned to the approach of Positive Discipline (I'm reading the book by Jane Nelson) to see what they have to say. The points are very good ones, and they totally resonate. Parents need to be firm but kind (not strict, and not pushovers). Children's behavior is goal-driven, and their primary goal is to have a sense of belonging and significance. So, if they misbehave, it is because they are confused about their place/role in the family. Punishment is ineffective because it leads to thoughts of resentment, revenge, trying to get away with it next time, or feeling inadequate. This also resonates -- who ever remembers the "crime" for which they were punished as a child? Usually, only the punishment remains in our memory.

There are 4 different types of misbehavior -- undue attention, misguided power, revenge seeking, and feelings of inadequacy. Again, Noah's behavior clearly falls into these first two categories. The book suggests you can know which one it is by how you feel when they misbehave. If you feel annoyed, it is probably undue attention. If you feel like you want to control them or win, it is a power struggle.

The suggested ways of dealing with them are helpful. For example, for power struggles, it suggests saying, I can see we are in a power struggle. Let's take a break and see if we can try to come to a solution. Then, problem solving. You want x. I want y. How can we both come out winning? It gives children and adults control rather than pitting one against the other.

For both of the relevant categories, it suggests trying to win them over. This means first, stating. I've noticed you've been doing x. I imagine you are feeling y. I understand how you could feel that way. I felt that way when.... But, we need to do z. How do you think we can get there?

Okay, so this is total over-simplification, but it is helpful. Another hugely important approach is to fill up your child's love and positive power basket! It suggests spending alone time with the child (we've all heard that one before) and allowing lots of positive power opportunities. So, invite them to help you with tasks (even though you probably don't need any help).

I was a little at a loss of how to deal with Noah's behavior in the moment. Do we punish? Obviously, I don't want him to get away with it! But, I do believe that truly at the core of the action are his feelings of worry about being loved, about feeling replaced. So, it really does make sense to address those feelings. Then, the misbehavior in theory will resolve itself.

On Thursday and Friday this week, I had the day off, since my babysitter could not work those days. On Friday, I focused very definitely on positive power. I asked him to help me squeeze the glue to fix a toy, to tape up a package I needed to mail, to help protect Simon as he was trying to climb up and down the stairs (I let him stand right behind him instead of me, and asked him to make sure he didn't fall), I asked him to feed Simon. All of these tasks give him a sense of power, importance. I think helping with Simon is particularly important, because it converts him to a role of caregiver rather than aggressor. Obviously, doing this at moments when he is happy and there is no conflict is key!

I also talked with Noah about his feelings in the evenings when Simon was asleep. I told him I thought he was feeling like Simon was getting more attention that he wanted, which was why he was throwing things at Simon. I let him know other things he could do instead, like ask for attention, or ask for a hug. I told him he would get the attention if he tried this approach instead.

So Thursday was still a challenge, before I was really trying to do the positive power. But Friday was so much better! Even just a small change in my approach, and he was not antagonizing his brother! (Of course, one other major difference on Friday was that he was with me instead of his babysitter after preschool pick-up at 12.) I think we went the whole day with no aggression, until Nano got home. At that point, I went upstairs to do something, and Simon was screaming a lot (his way of calling attention to his discomfort), so Noah hit him. I think in this case, it was truly just a bad choice on how to deal with being annoyed by his brother, rather than trying to get attention. (Which I think needs another discipline approach entirely!) Overall, though, the approach seems to be helping. Ironically, I had read about and implemented this approach before, when things had gotten a bit rough, and it really helped. Yet, I had let things slip, as I guess we always do when we get wrapped up in the rest of life.

I really hope things get better! I'm pretty sure it is just a phase, but how we deal with it will be important to our future battles/challenges.

What they are doing

It occurs to me that time with these young tots is flying, and before I know it, I won't remember what it was like when they were little! So, I'm going to do my best to get on here to write for my own benefit!

Simon is a sweet little character with lots of smiles, though his laughs are more discriminating. Lately, we have been playing a game in the tub where he stands up and places a toy in my mouth, then, I shoot it out in a surprising way. He finds this hilarious. He then plops back down into the tub and collects the toy, all to be repeated again, and again, and again. He hates to have his diaper put on, and hates to be still to sit on the toilet (yes, we are still catching about 99 percent of his poop in the pot), so we have to be armed with toys, books, or something else of interest if we want him to be still. When I get home in the afternoon, he comes crawling over to me, whining, as he has clearly missed me during the day. He often goes through bouts where he wants to get down, but as soon as we put him down, he wants to be picked up. He wants to explore, or find a toy, but wants to come right back to our arms.

Sometimes, after I get to "sleep in" a bit, he will smile a huge, radiant ray of sun across his cheeks when he sees me again in the morning. This is great sweetness! He likes songs and loves books, and loves to crawl up the stairs (still can't go down safely). However, he spends a lot of time watching what is going on around him, as I deal with Noah much of the time I am with him. Life as a second child sure is different!

When Nano gets home, Simon cries to be held by his papa! He shines that bright smile to be held and loved by his awesome dad!

When he nurses, he likes to have something in his hands. Sometimes it's a blanket, sometimes it's his own hands, and sometimes it's mine. Noah used to stroke my hair, but it is now too short for a nursling to reach. He is not a big nurser, and often will not sit still long enough to nurse when I get home (despite really needing the comfort and caloric re-charge). On week days, he oftentimes just nurses twice the whole day.

We had the 12 month visit, and he has dropped to 25th percentile for weight (40th for height). The doctor was mildly concerned, since he has dropped in percentile the last 3 visits, and was born at 90th percentile. I know my working more has a lot to do with it, as he is nursing less. She suggested introducing dairy. We tried for a few days, and then stopped, since he was wakeful and hard to settle in the night. We'll give it another try soon.

Meanwhile, Noah is amazing. He can count to forty, he can write his name, and he can sound out a few words. He likes learning, and I am always emphasizing to him that we learn by asking questions, and even adults are always learning. He also has a keen sense of his own emotions. Around Halloween, he was afraid of one of the houses nearby, as it was strewn with gravestones and skeletons. He shielded his eyes when walking by for the first few times, and then, he said, "maybe if I look at it a lot, I will think it is funny." Then, he wanted to try looking at it. After a couple of times, he was ready to look at it in detail. Then, he was fine, and thought it was fun. He tells me he loves me often, as well as his other family members. He still loves his school, and has started saying that he has friends there, "I have three friends: Jack, Liam, and Kenny."

The other day, Noah took a pair of sewing scissors to Nano's headphones, unbeknownst to us. One morning, Nano discovered the headphones clipped, rendered inoperable. He asked me what had happened, and I said I thought it was Noah. I suggested that he handle it by asking Noah, "Do you know anything about this?" Nano brought it up with Noah in that way, who responded, "Um, maybe someone cut it or something? I think maybe it was Simon." Then, he brought him over to Simon's jumper toy, and said, "Look!" There was another thing destroyed -- the strap holding up the seat was 1/4 of the way snipped. Nano didn't say anything else.

Later, I approached Noah, and said, "Noah, I think you cut Papa's headphones, and Simon's toy. It's not okay to cut things. Scissors are for cutting paper. If you want to experiment, and practice cutting other things, you have to tell me, and I can help you find something. It's not okay to play with scissors. I'm going to have to keep them far away from you until I can trust you again. I'm going to keep them up here in the cabinet. Do you think that's a good place?" (He has been known to try to reach in the tall cabinet with a chair.) "Um, maybe you should put it up on the refrigerator," he answered.

I took this approach thanks to the research suggesting that all children learn to lie, and that it is actually a normal part of development. Rather than trying to get them to admit it, they say to just say what you think happened, and what the consequence is. This advice was right on!

Today, Scarlett came to visit, and she wanted to play with the clown game, one in which you balance balls on the clown, and try not to make him topple over. Noah adamantly said, "no!" It became a match of wills, and started to escalate. I said to him, "Noah, Scarlett really wants to play with this game, but you don't want to. Can you tell me what the problem is? Why do you not want to play?" He said, "The clown always falls down!" So, I said, "Can you think of what we can do? Maybe you can play with these pieces, but leave the clown in the box?" They both agreed and went to play happily. Well, that is, until Noah's version of the game was to then knock over Scarlett's pieces, which made her very angry!

Parenting a 3 year old is constantly negotiating, putting out fires, trying to be creative, trying to keep a general semblance of normalcy, and constantly picking up what looks like the remains of a tornado running through the house. It is exhausting, though of course, also rewarding! It is really hard to be "on" all the time, and successfully deal with all the behavioral stuff. My most recent challenge is how to deal with Noah being too rough with Simon. He will slide into him, roll over onto him, and push him down. Most of the time, it is really just a simple issue of him not knowing his own strength, but not being willing to modify it. I'm going to have to think about how to deal with this one!

Simon's first word

Well, it's official, Simon has a first word. It's "uh-oh"!

He started repeating it first, after we would say it. It came out like "uh uh." Then, the true test: he used it in context! There I was, at Whole Foods, Noah in the cart, Simon in the carrier, looking at the items on a shelf. Something dropped to the floor, and out of Simon's mouth came, "uh uh" with a smile! Now, most of the time when something drops, he says "uh-oh."

Last night, he was sleeping next to me, and had just finished nursing. He popped up and started saying, "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh." I thought, "oh no, not a good time to practice talking, 3 am in in the morning..." Then, he let out a big belch, quieted down, and fell right back to sleep.

He's cruising around these days, though crawling is still his chosen form of transportation. He gets quite upset when he goes to climb the stairs and we close the gate before he can start up, complaining that he really wanted to practice! Today I was holding him next to a ball, telling him to kick, racing him across the floor as if he were playing soccer. He finally started to bear a bit of weight as I did this, and put one foot in front of the other to simulate walking. At least I know the reflexes are in there! One thing I do know is that once he decides it's time to walk, he will just stand up and do it as if he has done it forever! He has a great sense of balance and of where his body is.

First days of preschool!

Noah had his first day at preschool this week! The school was supposed to start on Monday, but due to the rains and flooding from Tropical Storm Lee, it was postponed until Wednesday. Apparently, they had to hang all of the carpets up and let them dry out over the whole weekend.

On Tuesday, I mentioned that he would be starting school the next day, he got mad, and said he didn't want to talk about it. So, I decided it was time for a new approach. I said, Noah, let's play "Noah goes to playschool!" We proceeded to act it out. I asked him if he wanted to be the teacher, or the boy. He wanted to start as the boy. I pretended I was Mrs. Griffen (his teacher's name), and greeted him warmly as he came in. I told him we could paint, and play with the toys. We then proceeded to have circle time, playground time, snack time, and at one point, painted for real. We took turns -- he played teacher once, but we started again about 5 times with him being the boy. Did this on Wednesday morning as well.

Then, it was time to really go! We took some pictures (will edit this to post some soon), and Nano took him off to Kid View! When they got there, Noah immediately said, "Pick me up, Papa." Nano picked him up, and they found his classroom and his teacher. There were a couple of kids there, and some playdough. Nano said, "Noah, let's make pizza, just like Caillou!" (Noah had just watched an episode of Caillou making pizza. ) Noah excitedly said, "Yeah, can you play with me, Papa?" Noah and Nano sat down, and Nano talked to the teacher, giving her all of the supplies, etc., as he played with Noah. Then, at just the right moment, he said, "Okay Noah, is this a good time to go?" Noah replied, "Yeah." Nano gave him a hug and a kiss, and away he went.

When I picked him up at noon, Noah seemed a little anxious. There were lots of parents, kids and teachers moving around at that critical hour. The first thing he said was, "We didn't go to the playground today." Mrs. Griffen said, "No, we didn't. But, we are going to go to the playground tomorrow." Then, we walked to the car with Bianca (she will be picking him up). We got in, and he said he had fun. I didn't get too much out of him, except that they had drawn a picture that day that they would be taking home later.

Day 2 went well too, though there were more people around and there was a bit more craziness at first. Noah looked for the play dough, but it wasn't out, and he was reluctant to play with anything else. The teacher figured this out, and offered to bring it out. Then, he settled in, and had another successful goodbye.

When I got home that day, we played school again. This time, we had to "hold onto the ring" to "go all the way down the hall, and up the stairs, to go to the playground." "You have to be very careful in the driveway and hold onto the ring." He was clearly listening intently! He later started showing his Thomas the Train book to the class, asking, "Does anyone know what this is?" and "Right! It's Hackaback (made up names)!" Later, when I was playing Mrs. Griffen, he came over and gave me a hug. He must be very comfortable there already! He also said Mrs. Griffen had a musical book, and proceeded to sing a song about a hammer.

Today was day 3, and I got to do drop off. Once again, it went extremely smoothly! He liked it so much, he asked to stay for lunch. Mrs. Griffen told me that he is doing very well in the class, that he is following along with everything. I answered that I am so proud of him. And I really am!! He has come so far from the 2 year old who thought he would die if he were to be separated from me! Granted, this place is much, much better with the transition for the new children, and it is a very loving environment. It is much better suited to his personality. But again, I am so proud of him, and am looking forward to watching him blossom in new ways with this new experience!

Milestones

It has been forever since I have posted! I have been thinking about a hundred blog posts, like 10 top reasons to do elimination communication, the entire SUMMER of 2011, getting a PhD, and starting a new job! But, there is just too much, so for now, I am going to try and get some of Simon's milestones recorded.

Simon became mobile on July 1st. I captured his first crawling steps in a short video. Soon after, we left for our trip on a CRUISE ship, where he didn't get down on the floor much. When we got back, around July 12th, Simon really got a chance to practice, and has become very proficient! He does mostly a crabwalk, with his left knee down, and his right foot up. He is still in no hurry to walk or even take steps when we hold him standing up, but he is now starting to push and pull up. The first time Noah saw Simon standing, his excitement was enormous. "Look, mama, he's standing!!" Noah had a huge smile on his face and was very proud of his little brother! "Hey buddy, you're standing!" It was so cute to see their bond.

Today, Simon and Noah got a bath together before bed. Simon started putting some toys in a little cup -- big development! :) It was very cute to see him putting things together. Today he was pushing up on a stool while sortof starting to take steps around it. Very soon, he will be stepping!

And, very soon he will be 1! I can't believe a year has gone by! Noah wants him to have an airplane cake. In a lot of ways, Noah does not remember life without Simon. But, at the same time, he always amazes me with his memory. Last weekend, Simon, Noah and I walked with the stroller to Starbucks. Noah said, "remember the other day, when we walked to the coffee shop with our friends?" Well, he was remembering an event where I pushed him on the same street in the same stroller with my friend Sharon and her family, over a year ago when they came to visit in June 2010! Really amazing that he remembers that.

Noah continues to say the most amazing things. He talks a lot, and is a bundle of energy. He's at the point of wanting to give up his nap, so is often quite cranky in the afternoons. This is, of course a challenge! Soon he will be starting school! Given all the rain we had with the tropical storm, their facilities were flooded, so they are delaying until Wednesday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but am starting to have a good feeling about it. He seems ready. He isn't showing as much anxiety about it. I think he's going to do great.

Conversations

Noah is quite the conversationalist. He has definitely reached the age of, "why?" Why are you always putting butter on your toast? Why did you do that? Recently, I was getting him to nap, when he said, "why does Papa always use the fan?" I said, "because his feet get hot." Of course, the reply, "Why do his feet get hot?" I answered, "because lots of blood is circulating in his body and it makes his feet feel hot." To this, I got silence. I guess he had to contemplate that one for a few minutes. Then, about three minutes later, "why does Papa have blood in his body?"

In the car, on the way to the beach from Santiago, we had an interesting conversation. Noah pointed to his belly, and said, "Mama, when is my baby going to come out?" His belly was a bit extended from lack of using the potty. I had recently been reading about some child development stuff, and how some kids get scared and think they might have a baby, and how they should learn in very simple terms how babies are made even around this age, so that they know it can't just happen out of the blue to a child. So, I thought I would take advantage of the opportunity to broach this topic.

I said, "Noah, you can't have babies. Only mommies can have babies."

"But I WANT to have a baby," replied Noah.

"You do?"

"Yes! Like Simon!"

Then I continued. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they can give each other special kisses. They have a special relationship. And sometimes, they can make a baby."

Without missing a beat, Noah responded, "And then they make a SPACE SHIP!!!"


I have no idea where this came from, but we laughed for a good ten minutes. Since it was so funny, he repeated it about twenty-five more times. We then laughed another ten minutes at his attempts to make us laugh.

Trip to Chile with two kids!

This year we decided to venture to Chile for spring break! I spent weeks trying to figure out what would be the best way to travel. Stroller or no stroller? Car seat or no car seat? Potty seat for Noah? And what about a portable potty for Simon? What snacks would I bring? And what would I be eating, given my dairy and soy-free diet? And all this was just for the trip on the plane...!

So, finally, we decided to bring car seats for both of them, a potty seat for Noah, and a small tupperware for Simon. It worked perfectly! The trip to Chile went surprisingly well! First, we had a long drive to the airport. I loaded the car with Noah's toys, and amazingly, Simon didn't even cry during the 1.5 hour drive. We had talked up the trip so much that Noah was very excited! We arrived over 2 hours before the flight, and had some time to kill. We bought Noah a blueberry muffin, and he ate the top off of it. I got my shoes shined, and Noah loved watching. He was very outgoing with the shoe-shiner! Simon had a brief nap. Noah played "El Toro" with Nano, which consists of running into a white cloth like a bull. Simon watched and smiled. Noah played with his ladybug suitcase.

Finally, we got on the flight. We lucked out and got an extra seat for Simon! Nano just about killed me for insisting on using two carseats. Installing Noah's on the plane for the first time led to severe frustration and cursing under his breath. Noah was frustrated because on the flight to Dallas, he couldn't use his tray table, given the height of the seat (one of the shorter ones on the market). It was fabulous to be able to set Simon down and have him happily at my side some of the time, without having him on my lap the entire flight. I knew this is what I wanted for the long flight to Chile. As soon as the flight started to take off, Noah fell asleep. He didn't even get to watch the plane go up into the sky! After only an hour, he woke up, so we had to entertain him for another 2 hours. I had brought some special toys for the flight (coloring books, pens and crayons, plus some small matchbox size emergency vehicles), and he was pretty happy. He also watched part of a video on construction vehicles.

We had about 3 hours layover in Dallas on the way there, and spent it eating, walking, and playing. By this time, it was getting quite late, and Noah was getting into the euphoric, over-tired state. He and I rolled around on the floor with Simon, took pictures, and had fun while we waited for the flight. The counter started to announce that the flight was overbooked, and that they were taking volunteers to not get on the flight. Bummer, we thought, our seat for Simon is gone! We decided to just check his car seat so we wouldn't have to deal with it. This was Big Mistake Number 1! At 9:15 pm, we boarded the flight. We still had the middle seat free for Simon! But, his car seat was far away under the plane, and there was nothing we could do about it. I was the most upset about this grave error, since I was the one who would be holding him throughout the flight. While we were thrilled to have the three seats together, it was a bummer that Nano had the seat on the other side of the aisle, and I had to deal with the needs of both kids at one time! Overall, though, it went much better than expected. Noah slept in his car seat. There was little room for his legs, once we reclined the seat, but at least his head was not falling over.

We arrived in Santiago in the morning, and Noah was happy to watch Dora on the iPhone while we stood in line to pay the reciprocity fee for Simon and proceed through immigration. When we got to baggage claim, we could see Lala, Tata, Maida and Julian up in the galley waiting for us! Noah was happy to see them and waved.

The first thing Noah noticed about Chile was that it was very bright! Coming from the winter, the bright Chilean sun was a bit of a shock! He complained of being hot and the sun being too bright. He didn't want to get in the car until it had cooled down. We spent the trip to Lala's house talking about sights like the tunnel we had to go through, and the mountains. When we finally got to Lala and Tata's house, they opened the door and said, "come in!" Noah took one look, and said, "I want to go home now." I quickly said, "Let's go see the kitchen!" and thankfully, Lala had a huge watermelon on the counter (Noah loves watermelon) and a view of the swimming pool. These two things made Noah feel much better. We had some watermelon and snacks, and then tried to take a nap. It took a bit of convincing, but soon, all four of us were in deep slumber at our destination.

When we woke up, we had guests! The whole family had come over for swimming and then dinner at Lala's house. Noah had so much fun playing with his cousins. He was thrilled to see Nico (13) and Cata (11), who, apart from speaking English with him, had visited our house in the not too distant past, and Noah thought of them fondly. It took a little longer to get used to Jose (8), Maida (5), Julian (6) and Luciana (2). He ran around on his own with the cousins while we ate, though he kept coming back to check in with me. Thankfully, Simon was able to get down early that night.

At around 9:00 pm, Noah came to me and said he was tired. So, I took him back to our room, and he said, "I'm ready to go back home now. I want to go back to Jenkintown." I wasn't surprised that he felt out of his element. I explained that we had to get on an airplane to come to Chile, and that we would be there for a week. He cried. And cried. I told him, "I know, you really want to go home. It feels really far away here, and everything is different. You want to go home. But, Mama and Papa and Simon are here. We are here together. And, we get to play with all of your cousins and see Lala and Tata." Noah cried some more. Then, after about 10 minutes, he said, "Okay, I feel better now." We did a quick tubby, read a few books, and got to bed.

Wednesday, our first full day in Santiago, we hung out in the morning with Julian, and around lunch time, went to a country club that had a huge indoor swimming pool. All the kids (except Luciana) took off from school in the afternoon to hang out with us there. Despite missing his nap, Noah had tons of fun with all of his cousins. They played in the pool with him, as Nano and I alternated between swimming with him and holding Simon. Simon slept in the carrier. As expected, Noah passed out in the car on the way back. He only slept about 20 minutes before we got back to Lala and Tata's house. That evening, we got him to bed relatively early, in preparation for the next day.

Thursday, we spent the morning at Lala's house while Nano prepared for a presentation the next morning at the University of Chile. That afternoon, we headed out to Angeles' house, and hung out while waiting for the kids to come home at around 3pm.

Friday, Nano had his presentation, and I was expected to attend, so that I could meet with some colleagues of my professor there. We managed to get Noah down for a nap at 12.45 and walked out the door at 12.46 to get there for the 1:30 presentation. Angeles babysat Simon and Noah slept most of the time. When we walked back in the door at 3.30, I found Noah in the bathroom, trying to go to the potty by himself. Since his potty seat was in a different bathroom, he had a bit of an accident, but I totally give it to him for wanting to exert his independence! He would have been entirely successful, were it not for that small detail! That afternoon, we headed over to Andres' new house. I love the way Angeles' and Andres' houses are set up for kids -- both houses wind around a nice backyard, with doors from almost all of the rooms facing out there. It is perfect for young children to play outdoors while you keep an eye on them! Noah played with Julian and the neighborhood kids on a scooter, running around with a ball, and just having fun. I spent about 2 out of 3 hours trying to get Simon to sleep! At around 9.30, I gave up, and we decided to get him and Noah home to Lala's house. Noah and Simon both fell asleep in the car, and successfully transferred upstairs to sleep.

Saturday, we had a birthday party to go to in the afternoon. Simon napped, then Noah napped, then Simon napped, and then we made it to the party. We also had to pack our bags, since we were heading directly to the beach from the party. The party was at Nano's friend Topo's house. Their house was like heaven for a three year old! There was a bouncy castle, a swimming pool, a sandbox, a treehouse, a room full of toys including a drum set, light sabers, and balls, a pinata, sugar sodas, and lots of candy! They also had a full outdoor bar and grill, nice music, and all of Nano's friends from high school. In short, it was an absolute blast!

From there, we left to the beach. It is about a 1.5+ hour drive. We didn't arrive until about 9.45 pm. Both the kids fell asleep in the car and for the most part successfully transferred to sleep in the new location. We hung out in the next apartment over (got to love the monitor) for drinks with Andres, Carola and Lala and Tata (Julian and Luciana were still awake...until at least 11.30 pm!). We were pretty pooped so soon thereafter, headed for bed.

Sunday morning, I let Nano sleep in and took Noah to play outside on the playground and see the indoor swimming pool. We had a nice time playing, and by the time we got back, Andres and his family were starting to wake up. We planned on having lunch in Valparaiso, so everyone was getting ready for the 20+ minute ride. Reservations were for about 1.30 or so. Noah fell asleep 10 minutes before we got there. I stayed in the car with him for another 10, then carried him in. He continued sleeping on me, and then on the couch, for another hour or so. I had a delicious local white fish (reineta) dish with fries and salad. Nano had Congrio frito. When Noah woke up, we went down one of the famous elevators of Valparaiso, a small little car that climbs up and down the mountainside. Great fun for the little ones!

This was the end of Noah's decent behavior. By this point, he was so beside himself with tiredness and lack of nutritious food that he was cranky and fussy for pretty much the rest of the trip. He woke up from this nap very cranky, and wouldn't even talk to his cousins. He only wanted to be with me (and let me tell you, he was no joy to be around). He demanded things like iPhones and ice cream. He had tantrums when he did not get them. Everyone tried to placate him, and we ended up going to an ice cream restaurant later that afternoon where he basically ate what would have been lunch (after refusing the chicken nuggets and fries we had for him).

After that, we went to the house of a couple we know from the University of Maryland, who live in Vina del Mar. Again, gorgeous house with huge backyard with lots of windows facing it! They have three kids (1.5, 5 and 7), a trampoline, and a kitchen stocked with peanut butter! Noah was thrilled to eat his first peanut butter and jelly sandwich in days (although in all honesty, I had brought some with us and he was eating it, but still!). Diana also offered him markers and some other toys. I spent another 2 out of about 3 hours trying to get Simon to sleep here. We didn't get there until 6 pm, his bedtime in Chile was about 7.30, and his last nap was interrupted, so he was pretty much a disaster. Lots of crying...I didn't get much of a chance to catch up, but we did get to exchange a few words here and there! :)

Finally, we got back to the apartment, and once again, both kids were sleeping. Noah's dentist is going to kill me for missing so many teeth brushing times while there!

On Monday, Nano wanted to go to his favorite restaurant for his favorite lasagna, so we made an early reservation at 12.30. I had some fabulous sauteed shrimp, and Nano had is infamous Lasagna a la Putanesca. Noah shared some noodles with Julian, and devoured many of my shrimp. When we got back, he was exhausted, and napped from around 2-4, when we had to wake him up in order to head to the airport.

Suffice it to say, the return trip from Chile was pretty much a nightmare. Noah and Simon were both tired and sleep deprived. The ride to the airport from the beach was quite long, but Noah handled it pretty well, given he had just woken from a nap. At the airport, we ate with and then said goodbye to the cousins, who met us there, and Noah was pretty wild with excitement and tiredness. Simon was once again struggling to fall asleep among the waiters crashing dishes, children screaming, and other kitchen noises. There were two great things about the return flight from Santiago to Dallas: we got the bulkhead seat, which meant a bassinet (which Simon did NOT like) and more front leg room for Noah. We also got a seat for Simon and had the carseat with us this time, so I actually got rest!! Nano on the other hand, had no place to put his long legs, so he was pretty uncomfortable! Noah slept most of the time, but was very cranky upon waking. Then, in Dallas, we had a five, yes, FIVE, hour layover. Nano took Noah on train rides, we ate, we walked, I bought Noah an airplane toy, and then we all took the train together for our flight. Nano did not put Noah's car seat in for this flight, and he did not easily fall asleep without it. While he really needed a long nap, he only got about an hour. He was so cranky upon waking that we began to relive the first days after Simon's birth, with Noah saying he didn't want me to hold Simon, that he wanted me to hold him, etc. I ended up walking off the plane with Noah in one arm and Simon in the other. Nano schlepped all the stuff. The stroller was way at the end of the passageway, and I was pooped.

Then, to top it all off, we had only arrived in Newark. We had a whole 1.5 hour car ride ahead of us. We stopped to get a hot dog for Noah and Nano, and took off. Simon cried for about 45 minutes to an hour. Noah cried that he wanted to watch something, then cried that he had to go potty, then cried that he didn't want to go potty, then cried that I tried to get Simon to stop crying, then cried that I told him I didn't like him acting like that, then cried that his dad told him to stop crying, etc., etc., etc.

By the time we walked in the door at around 6pm, we had all lost our patience at least once leading to either yelling or crying. I just wanted to get both of them TO. SLEEP.! Well, it still took awhile. Several hours later, at about 8:15, they were finally asleep.

Wow, what a trip!! Overall, it was great! I was so happy to see Noah thrive with his cousins! Jose played, "give me five...up high...down low...too slow" with him, he ran in a little sprinkler with Luciana, Nico and Cata spoke to him in English, he flew a kite with Julian, he played in the sand with Luciana, he swam with all the cousins, and he had a great time. But, it was disheartening to see his behavior decline along with his napping/sleep schedule. Next time, we will have to be more careful to see that he gets sleep and food in his body!

If there is one thing that saved us with Simon while we were there, it was the White Noise application on the iPhone! It took a few days to figure it out, but I turned it on one night and Simon was finally able to fall to sleep once all the noise was drowned out. Overall, I think he became a better sleeper as a result of this trip, ironically. He can go down in more of a variety of circumstances, and really seems to enjoy/appreciate the darkness and quiet of his room now that we are home!

There were at least three areas of major regression for Noah: 1) eating, 2) using potty, and 3) screen time. When he got back, his babysitter, Tiffany, asked him, "What did you eat in Chile?" His answer: "Nothing. They don't have any food in Chile." He asked repeatedly for goldfish crackers, and I told him they didn't have them in Chile. He didn't want to try anything new, and didn't even seem to like their noodles. The one thing he ate with gusto in the restaurant was shrimp (surprisingly). He also ate and enjoyed an empanada, but he probably quickly forgot about that. And, his friends and family ate and/or offered lots and lots of sugar -- sodas, candy, ice cream, etc. It was hard to get anything healthy down his throat! As far as point 2, I won't go into detail, but lets just say that peeing on the potty went well, but that was about it. For point 3), I was amazed at how there were no limits or monitoring on quantity or contents of television cartoons and iPhone/iPad games. Noah got way more than his usual share of screen time, and we are currently trying to detox.

Pictures to come!

Life as a family of four

We have finally transitioned to our new lives as a family of four! The first weeks and then months we were in survival mode. There were many, many sleepless nights, there was lots and lots of crying, and the exercise ball had to be refilled three times from all the bouncing. Now, there is lots of smiling, only the occasional crying, and just a lot of darn sweetness!

Okay, well, it's not ALL sweetness. The other night I tried to go out to dinner with some girl friends. Here is a recount of what happened when I got home after being called back an hour and a half after I left:

The house is a complete wreck (just as it has been lately). Noah is running around the living room, sweat dripping from his head, having created a mountain of pillows on the couch and trying to go through his tunnel. Nano is practically passed out, next to the pillows, with no apparent capacity to stop the madness. Simon has fallen asleep, but only after over an hour of Nano bouncing him on the exercise ball. While the bouncing was taking place, Noah was on his third Caillou episode, and apparently was jumping from the couch to the bench and to the floor or vice versa. It is a miracle he was not injured.

I tell Noah it is time to go upstairs (since apparently Nano was completely pooped) and the first tantrum ensues. "No, I want to play with Papa! No, mama!" Body collapses onto the floor as I attempt to pick him up. I take him upstairs with him kicking and screaming. Then, he notices we have changed the office around (we are going to set up Simon's crib there) and wants to see. There are shoes and things on the floor from where the guest bed had been, and Noah starts taking them to the closet, "look mama, I'm cleaning up." I then get him to his room, and he starts to scream "No!!" as I put on his pajamas. I am constantly pulling on his feet to drag him back onto the bed as he tries to escape. I try to be a bit playful, with kisses and tickles, and it only works intermittently. He wants nothing to do with me.

Then, "Weh..." Simon starts crying on the monitor. Suddenly, Noah becomes glued to me, "No, mama, I don't want you to hold the baby!!" and crying ensues. I call to Nano, "Simon's awake" and he comes up. Noah's wailing, Simon's trying to nurse, I ask Nano to take Noah into
the other room. He continues wailing and then finds his way back. Apparently, Nano has been physically restraining him and he has escaped. Noah screams he wants me to hold him, then comes back in and actually tries to stop crying, saying, "mama, I stopped crying" though
the sobbing continues. Simon starts to cry, then burps. I then pass him off to Nano to put to sleep, and he says, "what? I have to put him to sleep again??" I go to lay in the bed with Noah. He wants soy milk. And his lemonade from supper. We go down to get it and then go back
upstairs. He finally settles down to sleep at about 9.30.

But really, all in all, it's fantastic. Noah is very sweet with his brother. The other day I was holding Simon, and Noah came over to pull his socks up (they were falling off). He often says, "Look, Simon," and shows Simon a toy. And, when Simon poses one of those adorable smiles, he says, "Look, Mama, he's smiling!!" with genuine excitement.

It is cold here -- 23 degrees outside at noon as I'm writing this. So, we haven't been getting out much on the weekends. One of our favorite past-times has been playing the guitar. Simon sits in the swing and enjoys the music, either Nano or I play some tunes on the guitar. Noah either accompanies on his own guitar, or else dances energetically to the music.

We've also been trying to get Simon on a better naps schedule. Right now, he's doing the short, 45 minute naps. I guess I can't complain, since Noah would only sleep for 20-30 minutes when we put him down. But, I'm happily looking forward to 2 hour long naps from this little man!

Developmentally, Simon is doing what he should -- he just started rolling over from back to front. He was very upset when he realized what he'd done -- he hates being on his tummy! He's been a little slow to develop the muscles for pushing up when on his belly, so he feels a bit desperate and trapped! He has the sweetest coos and screeches, loves to interact with adults, and loves to be entertained by his brother. At his 4 month visit (we were about 10 days early), he was 90 percentile for length, 80th for weight, and 30th for head size (and we thought he had a big head!).